paper doll family
In light of modern technology, connecting as a family should be simpler than ever. Yet hectic work schedules, distractions (electronic and otherwise), or other demands can get in the way. Some of us may even go days without a single hug…days!
10 Easy Ideas for Greater Connection
1. Laugh More.
The latest research supports that laughter can decrease stress hormones and boost the immune system! As Daniel Pink points out in A Whole New Mind (Riverhead, 2005) “laughter is a social activity—and the evidence is vast that people who have regular, satisfying connections to other people are healthier and happier.” Tell jokes, watch comedy, and most importantly, model a good sense of humor yourself.
2. Play More.
Backyard football or Monopoly at the dining room table may register as old fashioned “just in the movies” scenarios reserved for “other” families, but they aren’t. Get outside. Touch each other. Fall in the mud. Laugh out loud. It’s not time spent being “unproductive.” It is life.
3. Be More Soulful.
Whether you attend religious services or not, be intentional about discussing and modeling the values of your faith. It is quite easy to get caught up in the realm of the physical world so it takes conscious effort on your part to provide balance.
4. Show & Tell.
Habitually ask your child what they think they do well and then have them demonstrate. For my son, it has always thrilled him to show off his ability to effortlessly walk on his hands. What is it for your child? Writing cursive? Pouring juice without help? They love showing you new skills and strengths. Your glowing response makes them feel ten feet tall.
5. Leave Work Behind.
Take as many family vacations as your vocation allows. The opportunities which will spring from time away from the grind relaxing with your children are pure GOLD and will add up to memories for a lifetime. No one at the end of their life wishes they had just taken less vacations.
6. Eat three.
Set a new rule about family meals together: everybody is expected at the dinner table at least three times a week. While it may not always be realistic to squeeze in three dinners, think about Saturday breakfasts, Sunday brunches, or Wednesday late night cookies and milk. At our house, we have Italian Friday Nights where we are often joined by a few of our children’s friends.
7. Time Matters.
Give them your time. So often we underestimate how much our kids want to spend moments with us. It’s important to carve out family time even if you get the message their friends have passed you up on the influence scale.
8. Listen to highs and lows.
Implement this easy best/worst exercise into every meal-time conversation. Ask your child to identify their best and worst daily moments. (Don’t use this time to lecture if their ‘worst’ happens to be failing an exam.) Open your heart and connect with the feelings they express. Share their joy! Cry with them over defeat. If you haven’t tried this, you may be surprised at how much you’ll learn about your kids’ inner lives.
9. Create a “We.”
Rally your children to help with a project. Whether it is helping an elderly neighbor with gardening, painting the family room, volunteering at church, or organizing the garage, join forces and see that the fruits of your labor extend way beyond an afternoon of hard work.
10. Write Love Notes.
Words are powerful and sometimes easier expressed on paper. Fill the page with dreamy thoughts, your wishes and hopes, and what makes them awesome. Leave the note on their pillow, and know it will touch them deeply whether they mention it or not.
Michele Ranard is passionate about helping families live more emotionally healthy lives. She has two children, a master’s in counseling, and a blog at hellolovelychild.blogspot.com.