We’ve had our little one for four months now, and although there are no guarantees and I can’t share details, the placement feels long-term. We still live one day at a time, holding plans loosely, releasing control, unsure of the timeline. We savor the moments, noticing and celebrating the everyday joys. And, the Snyder family has so much to celebrate this month! Like many other parents of newborn babies, we take great delight in this fleeting season of relative simplicity. We’re homebound and limited in the best sense, tired and full of joy.
We Celebrate
We celebrate growth. We’ve cycled through a few sizes of baby clothes, progressing through newborn and 0-3 month clothing. I didn’t think I’d be emotional about our baby outgrowing clothing. But witnessing onesies pulling off our baby’s tiny shoulders and being unable to zip up that 0-3 month dino sleeper brought me to tears. I want to be a mom who celebrates growth, though, as I joyfully bag up the piles of tiny clothing for the next bundle of new life.
We celebrate sleep. Our baby is sleeping through the night (mostly). Every night is a bit different, but we’re thrilled for stretches of sleep and a seemingly consistent routine.
We celebrate a sense of permanence. We know our baby, and our baby knows us. We feel connected as a family of four. Though we are still unsure of the future, we experience a deeply rooted peace as we hold our children with open hands.
We celebrate smiles and laughter. Our baby smiles readily and giggles every day. Silly songs, friendly greetings, cheek cuddles, and happy words incite big smiles and laughter from our little one. Our hearts are full.
We celebrate a settled sister. Our sweet daughter brings us so much comfort, even as she’s had to release her hold on her “only child identity”. Though she’s first to share that having a baby is not always easy or comfortable, she praises God consistently for the opportunity to demonstrate unconditional love and care for a vulnerable baby.
We celebrate our family and our community. My in-laws take the kids once a week for a couple of hours so Jim and I can have a weekly date night. Our church community continues to support our family in so many ways with babysitting, groceries, baked goods, and hand-me-down baby clothing and supplies.
We Respond
I’ve shared various comments we have received from others, which I believe can inform and encourage the process of becoming a foster family. Opening our homes to vulnerable children is often accompanied by hurt and heartache, but it’s ultimately a holy calling to unconditional love, and to building our community here in Southwest Florida. When people comment that any given child is “lucky to be with us,” my response is always and very quickly, “We are the lucky ones. We are the blessed ones.” There is great blessing – far beyond what we pour out – in adding to our family. We receive far more than we give. I know many of my fellow foster parents, and those who have adopted children, would agree wholeheartedly.
Recently, when we share our story of welcoming a newborn into our home, we have fielded the comments: “Wow, you started back at the beginning,” and “I can’t imagine starting over.” Yes, we are a couple in our 40s, with a 10 year old and a newborn. We weren’t planning this. We weren’t expecting this. But we welcome and celebrate the new life in our home.
Others may not be able to imagine it, but praise God we got the chance to start over. What a privilege, honor, and joy! I understand what they mean, of course. When I had my 10 year old back in 2014, it felt so incredibly hard – discombobulated, uncomfortable, exhausting, torturous. For the first three months of her little life, I thought to myself “How has the human race continued on? Why would anyone do this more than once?” Now, 10 years later, I understand how short that newborn season really is, and how quickly the little years fly by. I regret those thoughts in light of infertility, and we delight in the chance to start over again.
I’ve released any expectations I’ve had in this life of what the decades will bring. My grandma always said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” She and my grandpa lived very simply and humbly in a small farming community in rural Illinois and though not remotely wealthy, they lived like the richest of kings, giving generously and opening their home often to whomever needed fellowship or a place to eat or stay. We may make plans, but we’ve found that true life, true joy, true success is embracing the simplicity of the unexpected and holding our resources with open hands.
And so, I consider myself among the most richly blessed this spring season of 2025, and no matter what tomorrow brings, I’m so thankful for it all. I treasure it all up and store it in my heart – all the newborn cuddles, the wide smiles, the feedings, the growth, the celebrations, and the unexpected. Happy Mother’s Day!
This is the latest article I’ve written about our journey as a foster family. Here are the previous installments: