So I’m feeling sorry for myself because we’ll be skipping the boat to Key West this month for the Key Lime Pie Drop, a contest to see who can launch an actual pie from the top of the lighthouse and have it land intact. Which, despite the em-ployment of parachutes, balloons, and such, is practically nobody. It’s part of the Key Lime Festival (July 1-5), which also involves endless pie eating, people walking around in Key lime hats, and other wackiness.
I don’t wallow in self pity for long, because it turns out there’s a key just a 1-hour boat ride from Captiva Island on which stands a historic 1930s-era homestead-turned-restaurant where the Key lime pie is legendary, Jimmy Buffett himself shows up periodically, and the place definitely has its own brand of wackiness. Like, for example, the gazillion or so dollar bills fluttering from the ceiling. The place is Cabbage Key, and that story dates back to its days as a rustic fisherman’s bar. An angler who’d had a bountiful catch wrote his name on a dollar bill, which the bartender taped to the wall as “beer insurance” to bank against future unlucky days. Other fishermen followed suit, and then non-fishing locals and tourists, until soon the walls and ceiling were covered with autographed dollars. The tradition continues, and your server will even bring you a marker and piece of tape on request. Sadly, you can no longer use it as beer insurance. As bills fall off, they go to charity. Owner Rob Wells estimates that since his family has owned Cabbage Key, the donations have totaled almost a quarter of a million dollars.
On a Saturday morning we board Captiva Cruises’ 65-foot double decker Lady Chadwick at South Seas Plantation for a lunch cruise to Cabbage Key. The island, created from an ancient Calusa shell midden, lies between Cayo Costa and Useppa islands. It even has a wooden water tower we can climb, but instead of a light it is topped with a giant osprey’s nest. Dropping a Key lime pie from up there would be seriously frowned upon.
Richard, our cruise host, weaves his narration of regional stories and natural history with a few tall tales (“to see if you’re paying attention,” he says). As Captain Sean navigates slowly between the sandbars and shallows from Redfish Pass to the open water of Pine Island Sound, Richard mentions that if we’re vigilant we might see a few dolphins. What an understatement. As soon as Lady Chadwick picks up speed, at least half a dozen dolphins appear, cavorting and jumping several feet in the air. The kids on board (meaning every one of us, from about 6 to 86) are mesmerized.
“It’s a great opportunity for them to see humans in captivity,” Richard quips. It’s more likely that after six generations the resident pod has figured out Lady Chadwick’s schedule, and the sound of the engine means they get to play in the wake. If this is how the first 30 minutes goes, can the enchantment possibly prevail?
It does, starting with lunch. I skip the famous cheeseburger that locals claim inspired Jimmy Buffett to write Cheeseburger in Paradise (sorry, that’s just a legend) and go for chilled, peeled Gulf shrimp served with potato salad and coleslaw. The shrimp are huge, fresh, and tasty, and the potato salad and coleslaw both transport me as close to my Georgia seacoast roots as I’ve been since, well, Georgia. The pale yellow slice of frozen Key lime pie (which unfortunately my companion and I choose to split) is creamy, tart, and properly unadorned except for a generous dollop of whipped cream.
We’re among the last Lady Chadwick passengers into the restaurant because I paused for an intimate conversation with a gigantic resident gopher tortoise. In retrospect, I’d save my tortoise moment for later, to have our pick of front porch, screened back porch, or one of the umbrella-shaded patios.
After lunch we check out the nature trail, which is cut through old island vegetation thick with cabbage palms, strangler figs, and live oaks. Then we climb to the top of the water tower, after which I can report three facts: (1) the views are beautiful, (2) an osprey currently is in residence, and (3) osprey nests are pretty stinky.
Must taste more pie
At 2 p.m. we board Lady Chadwick for home. The palette of Pine Island Sound magically has changed from this morning’s jade green to clear Caribbean blue. Now, only one thing remains to complete our Key lime experience: more pie tasting.
Captiva: The new bakery, Boop’s by The Bubble Room, decorates its slice with whipped cream, kiwi, strawberry, and a green lime twist. Though artful, its excess would amuse a purist. But there’ll be no tasting today, as they’re sold out.
Sanibel: On to Bailey’s General Store for their bakery’s sig-nature Key lime pie parfait, layered with graham cracker crumbs, both Key lime and lemon filling, and whipped cream. And (oh, why not?) we score a cake-like confection layered with Key lime filling and a lime green glaze on top, decorated with what looks like a white chocolate wafer tinted lime green. Anyone who knows that Key lime pies are never lime green would turn up her nose, but I’m an equal opportunity taster.
Back home, we set up the tasting. The parfait is delicious but super sweet. The cake and pie combination is yummy and we devour every crumb. But my heart belongs to that 100% Key lime pie with just the right chill and tartness, presented on a plate drizzled with raspberry sauce. Cabbage Key wins.
Now, about Batman
The man who built the inn and cottages on Cabbage Key as a winter retreat was the son of famous mystery writer Mary Roberts Rinehart. Some called her the Agatha Christie of America, even though she published her first mystery 13 years before Christie. The author (formerly a World War I press correspondent and women’s suffrage activist) visited regularly but mostly spent time fishing and hobnobbing with Barron Collier and other socialites on Useppa Island. Oh, and inventing Batman.
Please. Everybody knows that D.C. Comics invented Batman, right? Wrong. Mary Roberts Rinehart invented him as a diabolical character, along with the black bat shape in a circle of light and other bat symbols, in her 1920 play called The Bat. It later became a movie starring Vincent Price. Two decades after The Bat, D.C. Comics artist Bob Kane and writer Bill Finger adapted her concept, making him a superhero. You can look it up!