Why does one-on-one time with your tween matter so much?

At this age, girls seem to live in two worlds at once. They are still playful and tender, but already reaching toward independence. Winnie is 11, perched right on the edge of the tween years, and I can feel how much she still needs time with me, even if she doesn’t always say it directly.

Since her baby brother arrived, I have become more aware of how easily everyday demands can crowd out that connection. We do our best to plan little mother-daughter dates: a Target run, a beach fishing trip, takeout in the car. Those small windows of attention matter more than we think.

This day felt like a gift because it gave us hours, not minutes. No dividing my attention. No multitasking. No rushing through errands. Just the two of us, together, for the better part of an afternoon.

What made the drive to Captiva feel like part of the day?

Even getting there felt special. We overpacked, of course, with extra clothes, books, crochet projects, and enough skincare to suggest we were staying a week instead of five hours. That, too, felt true to us.

The drive to Captiva from Naples is lovely in the way Southwest Florida can be lovely when you let it slow you down. We admired houses and water views and became noticers of beauty along the way. Captiva always feels slightly removed from ordinary life in the best possible sense—natural, island-y, and set apart.

At one point, in a very predictable “millennial on a weekend trip” moment, I started imagining a new life for us in one of the beach cottages we passed. Winnie shut that dream down immediately and emphatically. “MOM! NO! We could never.” Her passion made me laugh, and honestly, it was exactly the kind of conversation I had hoped the day might hold: silly, easy, and ours.

What is Captiva Landing at South Seas Resort like for families?

We arrived at South Seas Resort, checked in, got our wristbands, took selfies, and collected fluffy white towels before settling into our cabana. The setup made the whole day feel easy from the start. We tucked away our things, appreciated the resort-style prints and comfortable outdoor furniture, and discovered a generous stash of snacks plus a fridge full of water and soda. We were delighted before we had even stepped into the water.

The water park itself was beautifully designed and felt calm, clean, and well monitored. Lifeguards were visible, which always helps me exhale a little as a parent. The space struck a balance I deeply appreciate: fun for kids, relaxing for adults, and simple enough that the day never felt chaotic.

We loved the three water slides, the giant tipping bucket, and especially the lazy river. Winnie rode the slides what felt like one hundred times. I rode them fewer times, which felt appropriate and honest. Mostly, I watched her from a lounge chair with an ice-cold Diet Coke and a book, looking up often just to see her joy.

The top landing of the slides offers beautiful Gulf views on both sides of the island, which added to that distinct Captiva feeling of being somewhere special. It was the kind of place where you can play hard for a while, then rest in the sun, then do it all over again without ever feeling rushed.

Can a simple resort day become real family connection?

Yes, and that may have been the most surprising part of the day. The fun was real, but the connection was the deeper gift.

At lunch, the slides closed for the daily safety check from noon to 1 p.m., and that natural pause gave us time to settle into our cabana, eat together, and talk. We shared Greek salad, chicken fingers and fries, and vegetable egg rolls—an oddly perfect combination. There was live music and outdoor seating nearby, and even a cool-looking arcade adjacent to the walk-up restaurant, but the calm of the cabana suited us better.

After lunch, we spent more time in the large pool and then circled the lazy river again and again. At some point, we invented games—racing, chasing each other, and looping around the little island of Adirondack chairs sunk into the sand. There is something about a lazy river that lends itself to conversation. You drift, you laugh, you circle back, and nobody is in a hurry.

Connection often happens when there is enough space for it. Not necessarily through deep, dramatic conversations, but through shared silliness, repeated moments, and hours that are not being squeezed between other obligations.

Do you need a big outing to reconnect with your child?

What I came home remembering most is that we never even made it across to the beach. I had warned Winnie ahead of time that I wanted us to take a short walk over at some point, but we lost track of time in the best way. We were too busy playing together and talking.

That felt meaningful to me. The point of the day was not to maximize every amenity or check every box. The point was simply to be with her. We headed back to Naples in the late afternoon, and even the drive home was easier than I expected.

I would absolutely encourage families looking for a getaway that feels a world away from the hustle of Naples to consider Captiva and South Seas. It works well for a day, but I can also imagine it being a lovely place for a few nights. Still, what stayed with me most was not the destination itself. It was the reminder.

You do not need a resort day to build connection with your child. You need intention. You need attentiveness. You need enough margin to say yes when the moment presents itself.

What does connection with a tween actually look like at home?

As summer approaches, I keep thinking about how urgent this feels. Winnie is nearing the years when sports, academics, activities, and friendships will compete more aggressively for her time and attention. Making our home her favorite place to be is part of our work as parents, and so is protecting our relationship while she still wants to spend this kind of easy, playful time with me.

I do not believe connection with my tween girl requires a weekend away at Captiva Island, thankfully. More often, it looks wonderfully ordinary.

• Sitting together on the couch, crocheting and listening to an audiobook
• Running to Publix for butter so we can come home and make homemade biscuits
• Following one of her creative whims when I have the flexibility to do it
• Rolling through the neighborhood after dinner on rollerblades while Dad puts the baby to bed
• Choosing presence over efficiency when a moment to connect appears

Those are the moments that build trust and closeness over time. Those are the moments I want to keep saying yes to this summer, even when no would be easier.

What can parents in Collier and Lee Counties take from a day like this?

For parents in Collier and Lee Counties, especially those raising tweens, this was my takeaway: summer does not have to be packed to be meaningful. It does not have to be expensive, elaborate, or perfectly planned. Sometimes the best family memories come from simply setting aside time and letting the day unfold.

If you are looking for ideas close to home, browse Southwest Florida Family’s family events calendar, explore these day trips for families in Collier and Lee Counties, or cool off with this guide to splash pads for kids in Collier and Lee Counties. If your family loves the water, you may also enjoy our favorite family-friendly beach parks in Southwest Florida.

And if your older child is inching toward the teen years, it is worth thinking ahead about how to protect time together before schedules fill up. Resources like summer camps for teens and tweens in SWFL and educational summer camps in Collier and Lee Counties can help you shape a summer that includes both growth and breathing room.

For me, our Captiva family day trip from Naples was a beautiful reminder that connection is rarely accidental. It asks something of us. Energy. Intention. Enthusiasm. A willingness to pause what feels urgent for what is actually important.

So here is to a summer of saying yes a little more often. Yes to the drive. Yes to the lazy river. Yes to the grocery run, the audiobook, the rollerblades, the small conversations in the car. Yes to all the ordinary and extraordinary moments that tell our children, clearly and repeatedly, I want to be with you.

The post A Captiva Family Day Trip from Naples That Gave Us Real Connection appeared first on SWFL Family.

Revisiting LEGOLAND Florida with an Older Kid

My daughter turned 11 in September, and I wondered how a day at LEGOLAND would hit now that she’s five years older. Would the mention of a day trip to the park still illicit squeals of joy? I decided to find out.
We planned to travel to Lakeland anyway on Oct. 31 for the state elementary school cross country race and stayed at a nearby Hampton Inn. Winnie was decidedly pumped to spend the day after the race at LEGOLAND when I confirmed the trip, but I was curious if many of the rides geared toward younger kids would still hold the same appeal for a fifth grader. Thankfully, a few other families from her school’s cross country team also decided to spend the day at the park.

Our hotel was about 10 minutes from LEGOLAND. Because of LEGOLAND’s special Halloween events, we decided to arrive 20 minutes before the park opened. We spent time taking selfies and enjoying a clear, crisp, very-Florida-cold morning.

Because I anticipated the park getting busier as the day progressed, we made a beeline for our favorite rides before sauntering around the park and taking in the scenery. At 10 a.m., after what felt like forever, the park opened, and we headed straight for our favorite ride: The Dragon. Set in LEGOLAND’s medieval-themed area, The Dragon is a short, fast entry-level roller coaster. We rode it three times in a row.

We progressed through all our favorite rides, running around the park and enjoying some time before the crowds arrived. The weather remained cold, but clear and sunny. Unfortunately, because of the weather, I knew we wouldn’t make it to the water park that day. Our blood is very thin and resists any activity that requires us to remove our sweatshirt layer when the temperature dips below 75 degrees.

Our favorite rides at LEGOLAND are what I would consider low-level roller coasters and are as follows:

• The Dragon
• Coastersaurus
• The Great LEGO Race

We rode these roller coasters so many times that I lost count. And Winnie continued to ride them with friends, without me. Even as the number of people in the park increased, these rides still boasted minimal wait times (10 minutes or less). LEGOLAND attracts families with young children who don’t necessarily enjoy fast and somewhat intense rides. On Feb. 27, LEGOLAND is introducing another ride geared towards older children called Galacticoaster – it’s an interactive, immersive experience, and I can’t wait to try it out with my kids.

Many of the rides geared toward smaller children listed wait times of 30 minutes or more. Thankfully, the actual wait times were often far less than advertised on the digital displays around the park. The rides designed for older children and adults, though, listed wait times of 15 minutes or less. For Disney-goers, 30 minutes is nothing. LEGOLAND enthusiasts, though, know that 30 minutes seems like an eternity.

Reasons I love LEGOLAND

• The park is absolutely doable in a day. You can get there in about 2½ hours, spend 5-7 hours at the park, and get home by 7:30 or 8 pm.
• You can walk from end to end in less than 10 minutes. If you want to go on a ride at the opposite end of the park – no big deal!
• Rides are happy and fun with low-ish wait times (depending on the day).
• The parking lot is relatively close to the entrance. Logistics at LEGOLAND are not an issue.
• The rides are enjoyable for a variety of ages.

Rides I would recommend for older children

• Merlin’s Challenge
• LEGO Movie Masters of Flight (simulator)
• Mia’s Riding Adventure
• Battle of Bricksburg
• LEGO Ninjago
• Battle of Bricksburg
• Unikitty’s Disco Drop

Winnie and I loved our day at LEGOLAND. I probably would not go two days in a row, but I would go with her again. For our family, fun with an older “tween-ager” is all about our own level of enthusiasm, even in the midst of various moods or whims. Regardless, Winnie had a blast – lots of squeals of delight! We are looking forward to going again soon.

The post LEGOLAND Florida: Still Fun for Older Kids? appeared first on SWFL Family.

Roller Hockey

Did you know Naples is a hub for high-level roller hockey? The Collier County Youth Roller Hockey League was founded in 1995 by Todd and Jessica Bergel for their three sons, and it has since grown into a local legacy of excellence.

“We have participants ranging from ages 5 to 70, with talent levels from beginner to professional,” said Rachel Pynnonen. “Our fall and spring seasons together draw more than 100 kids and 75 adults, including four players on Team USA, three of whom also compete for our local pro team, the Naples Labeda Kaos.” Local youth games take place Saturdays from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. at the covered rink in Veterans Park.

Rachel’s husband, Mike, serves as youth director for the league, and their two children (ages 8 and 10) both play. “Naples and South Florida are true hubs for high-level roller hockey,” she said. “Our coaches and mentors are passionate and talented, and their love for the sport is contagious. They’re helping raise the next generation of players.”

Kids can also join travel teams such as Kaos and the Blackjacks, which compete nationally and represent Team Florida at State Wars — the largest roller hockey tournament in North America, featuring more than 370 teams.

Roller hockey is a great alternative to ice hockey, Pynnonen noted. “The rules make it more free-flowing — no checking, icing, or off-sides — and Veterans Park offers a convenient, family-friendly location for local players.”

The rewards can come quickly. “Our boys started rollerblading less than three years ago and have found a passion like no other,” Pynnonen said. “They’ve grown in confidence, learned to compete well, and even traveled the country. It’s a story we see again and again in the Naples Roller Hockey League.”

Visit www.rollerhockeynaples.com.

BMX Biking

At the Naples BMX track in Golden Gate City, kids as young as two can experience the thrill of Bicycle Motocross (BMX) — a fast-paced style of bike racing on a dirt track filled with hills and turns. The track, owned by Collier County and run by volunteers, is sanctioned by USA BMX and offers practices on Monday evenings from 6-8 p.m. and races on Wednesdays at 6 p.m.

Volunteer coordinator George Suarez is passionate about getting riders of all ages involved. “Any kid can come, and we’ll get them started,” he said. “I always tell parents to bring their child’s own bike first since it’s what they’re most comfortable with, but we also have loaner bikes for kids to use for free to get started.” He noted that children as young as 2 years old have ridden at the track, typically on balance bikes.

Suarez emphasizes the inclusive spirit of the sport. “No one rides the bench here,” he said. “In other sports, kids don’t always get playing time as they’re learning. Here, everyone can compete right away at our Wednesday night races. Kids can progress from beginner to intermediate to expert to pro designations as they learn and grow in the sport.”

Success stories abound, including a six-year-old who advanced rapidly to the pro level. “We have a six-year-old who became so passionate about BMX racing and has progressed very quickly to pro level in a short amount of time. I love that age isn’t a factor,” Suarez said. “The parents make the experience for the kids; they bring their kids to the track and put so much time and energy into it.”

Suarez and the volunteer team welcome newcomers every Monday and Wednesday night. For more information, visit www.naplesbmx1916.com or www.facebook.com/naplesbmx.

Pickleball

Over the past decade, pickleball has transformed the racquet sports scene in Collier County. Its appeal is simple: the game is easy to learn, accessible to all ages, and offers an active, social way to stay fit. Players can develop skill and confidence quickly, regardless of athletic background.

While pickleball is often associated with adults, the YMCA of Collier County is helping bring the sport to a younger generation. Instructor Helen Anderson leads youth sessions for ages 8-11 and 13-16 at the Naples YMCA. “The pickleball program is about introducing and exploring a new activity, regardless of age or skill,” Anderson said. “We use games and obstacle courses to teach specific skills. You don’t have to be an athlete.”

Anderson’s goal is to create a supportive, encouraging environment where kids can thrive. “We want them to find joy in it,” she explained. “Our goal at the YMCA is to make it fun. Kids get a workout without realizing it. Pickleball becomes an outlet where they can let go, have fun, and just be kids.”
Youth pickleball programs are offered year-round through the YMCA of Collier County and Collier County Parks & Recreation, with opportunities for both fundamental instruction and competition.

Visit ymcacollier.org and collierparks.com.

Figure Skating

In Southwest Florida’s warm climate, figure skating isn’t always top of mind for young athletes, but opportunities for competitive youth skating are growing. Krista Cianfrani, a strong advocate for the sport, has seen its benefits firsthand through her daughter’s years of competitive adaptive skating. “Figure skating has significantly grown locally,” she said. “Children and teens approach the sport through learn-to-skate programs and private lessons. Oftentimes, the moment their blades touch the ice, they instantly want more.”

Cianfrani highlighted the sport’s many benefits. “The physical exercise involved in figure skating is outstanding. It requires training, dedication, and mental agility. Figure skating involves setting goals and achieving them, and the rewards that come with that process are so empowering.”

There are many ways for beginners to get started. Both Hertz Arena and the Fort Myers Skatium offer information on their websites, and Cianfrani recommends starting with public skate sessions at Hertz Arena. “That first step of getting on the ice, having fun, and being inspired is so important,” she said. “Know that it’s okay to fall; it’s about getting back up, trying your best, and being yourself.”

“Beginners can take group or private lessons,” Cianfrani added. “There are so many options for competition – free skate, solo ice dance, showcase, levels for children with unique abilities, and many other routes to take. I love that the sport is inclusive.”

Collier and Lee Counties are full of exciting and unexpected youth sports opportunities. Why not see what new adventure your child might fall in love with next?

The post Unique Emerging Youth Sports Near Naples & Fort Myers appeared first on SWFL Family.

The Gift of Permanence

I’ve been chewing on the idea of permanence – and what that means for him and for us. He is fully a Snyder, fully our son. No one can take that away from him. There are no lingering questions or waiting periods. No more random documents we have to get notarized right away. No more home visits. No more wondering what could happen or thinking through eventualities. No more explaining to the airline why we don’t have a birth certificate. We get to use permanent words without any hesitation – ones we hadn’t previously used in our only-child home – words like: brother, sister, children, kids, son. Though, I wonder at some point if TJ will need to mourn the idea that a relationship with his bio family won’t be possible for him. Because of his situation, he will never know his biological parents’ identity. Permanence, then, allows us to walk through that process with him, to be fully present and available over the course of decades, and provide him with the resources to form and claim his identity, his story.

Position

TJ’s position is forever changed; during his adoption hearing, the judge declared it is now “as if he was born to us biologically.” His name is changed – from an assigned alias to his given name, the one we’ve been using all along, the one he adorably turns his head to when called. He has all the rights and obligations of a biological child. He has a birthright – he can fully claim his inheritance and identity. He’s entitled to take part in what it means to be a Snyder, a Futrell, a member of the Center Point Community Church family, and a part of the Naples Christian Academy community. He will certainly continue to be immersed in all those cultural realities: family camping at Caloosahatchee Regional Park, hiking in Acadia, listening to the Lord of the Rings trilogy on family road trips, AWANA and family dinner on Wednesday nights, mountain biking trips, staying after school for staff meetings, cheering on his sister at track meets, playing in the cul-de-sac with neighbor kids before dinner, sneaking extra donuts on Sunday mornings between church services, Christmas Eve in Victoria Park, and countless other rhythms.

His position is clear, but he may need to grapple with our family culture and grow into it as he gets older. He is – and is becoming – a Snyder; it’s the now and the not yet working hand in hand. We see that with biological children, certainly – they assume family culture and identity, and they help form it. With foster and adopted children (depending on the age and situation), it may take more time, it may involve fight or flight response loops, and a level of questioning and processing. We’re here for it.

We don’t get to choose our children’s talents, abilities, or passions. We get to discover them in the context of family culture. It’s exciting and nerve-wracking. As a parent, I want to encourage my children to discover and develop their gifts. As they mature, I want them to be able to answer questions like: “Where do my heart’s passions meet the world’s need?” or “What doesn’t feel like hard work, even though it really, really is?” One of the secrets of being a great parent is sharing my kids’ passions. You’re suddenly into sharks? “Let’s check out all the books we can about them and learn together!” Interested in chess? “Okay, let’s play every afternoon!” When we demonstrate interest, we weave trust and relationship and excitement and joy into the fabric of our homes. My goal is to make our home the place our kids love the most – a place they want to be more than anywhere else.

When we thought and prayed about becoming a foster family a little over a year ago, our ultimate goal was to open our home and invite vulnerable children in; we want to use our resources, live with open hands, and hold nothing back. To provide safety and joy, to meet the needs of our community, and to demonstrate – in tangible ways – the love of God. Even though we have no open beds right now and aren’t able to take any foster placements for the next few years, we still have these same goals. When we open our home to others, we want them to feel comfortable and safe so that they can set their burdens aside, eat delicious food, and take joy in relationships. So, adopting our son isn’t the end of the road. It’s a continuation of who we’ve been all along. And it’s just the beginning for him. If only you knew, dear TJ, all the rejoicing to welcome you! Happy Adoption Day!

Read the other installments in Anna’s fostering journey here.

The post Fostering Journey Final Chapter: Celebrating Adopting Our Son appeared first on SWFL Family.

Our Fostering Journey Statistics

• Number of placements: 3 (2 respite placements and 1 permanent placement)
• Number of ER visits navigating the intersection of Medicaid and assigned aliases: 2
• Cross-country flights with a foster placement (and the associated nerves of traveling with a non-related child): 3
• Licensure and post-placement home visits: 7
• Number of placement requests (calls, texts, emails): too many – and corresponding agencies requesting placement of children/teens: approximately 5
• Months it took to become a licensed foster family: 4-ish
• Number of months we have been a licensed foster family able to accept placements: 9-ish
• Number of times we have second-guessed our decisions as foster parents: innumerable
• Number of blessings we’ve experienced because of the decision to open our home to children in crisis: infinite

The numbers represent a dichotomous reality. Our ability to help and support is vastly disproportionate to the need for supportive care in Southwest Florida. But, we wanted to open our home and use our resources to honor God and support people experiencing hurt and trauma. And, if we can do that in even one case, I would call our journey successful.

Questions and Comments Received

I continue to hear the comment almost daily: “Wow! You started over at the beginning.” Yes, we took in a baby. Yes, I understand the comment – “He is blessed (lucky) to be with your family.” We still consider ourselves the blessed ones: to experience his growth and development; to figure out what makes him laugh; to understand his favorite foods and his various cries; even to wake up with him in the middle of the night. We recognize that as he grows up, he may need to mourn the trauma he has experienced. He may need to mourn the fact that he is still with us instead of his bio family. We want to understand how his brain processes all the information about his unique story – as well as the comments he’s sure to receive.

A friend asked me a couple months ago: “Are you happy now (that you have this permanent placement)?” The person knew my desire for more children and our years of infertility. I didn’t know how to respond, exactly, because I hadn’t really considered her question. Does my happiness and joy in this new life cure the pain of years of infertility? Because it’s true: I’m over the moon to be stepping in and raising this thriving baby boy. But it doesn’t take away the hurt of infertility, exactly. Some part of me will always feel the pain of bearing fewer children than I thought I would. The years of being able to give birth are over for me, theoretically. It’s okay that I mourn that reality, even with a 7-month-old little man giving me impossibly big, toothless smiles. Overwhelming gratitude and loss can co-exist.

It’s difficult to understand and respond to comments like: “It’s great that he didn’t experience the neglect or abuse that older children in care have experienced.” I understand the heart behind comments like that. But, I can’t see his situation in those terms; I don’t want to be too hard on anyone, but comments like the above diminish and discount the pain experienced by adoptive and foster children. Everyone who walks this earth experiences pain, heartache, and trauma – it’s part of being a human. By now, we collectively know and understand the danger of comparing financial success, material possessions, personal blessings/situations, etc. with others. There is danger, too, in comparing trauma and pain when children can’t be with their biological families for various reasons. When I look at our baby, and I count the number of days I’ve spent with him (205, to be exact), I feel privileged, honored, blessed. I don’t see myself or our family as preventing trauma, just stepping in and saying “yes” when asked.

The Truth

A friend asked us: “What will you tell him?” Meaning: what parts of his story will we tell him and when? I answered, simply: “The truth.” We never want to lie or shy away from the difficult parts. We want to share his story in a way that he can understand and is appropriate to his developmental level. We will likely have to share it again and again, and his reactions to the story may change with time. But I don’t know how much yet and when.

We thank God for our permanent placement. Every new day with my sweet family is a gift – one that wasn’t promised to me and one that I want to do my best to cherish. New challenges and joys abound, and I’m so thankful for this journey, and for the chance to share it with each of you.

Read the other installments in Anna’s fostering journey here.

The post Our Foster Parenting Journey: Summer Reflections appeared first on SWFL Family.

Our sweet, cuddly bundle of joy loves tummy time; our baby smiles impossibly wide, kicking legs and flailing arms so ferociously; strength and vitality that demonstrate new life and growth. Though I admittedly ask, “What have we done?” when greeted with a sink full of dirty bottles and a screaming baby at 3 a.m., God faithfully reminds me to ask a different question – King David’s prayer from the Bible – “Who am I, God, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far?”

I’m also reminded of a word coined by British fantasy author J.R.R Tolkien, whose notable works include The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings series. The word is “eucatastrophe” – eu is a Greek prefix, meaning good. Attached to the word catastrophe, eucatastrophe signifies a sudden, unexpected, surprising turn of events that ensures characters in the story do not meet some impending doom or traumatic end. I’m reminded of the main characters at the very end of Toy Story 3, descending together into the garbage incinerator on a wave of trash, holding hands and facing certain death. At the last possible moment, The Claw, manned by the plastic toy aliens, descends and scoops them out. Eucatastrophe.

I desire eucatastrophe – the happiest of endings – for all neglected and vulnerable children in Southwest Florida, including those reunified with a parent or kin, those in foster care, and those living in group homes. I desire unexpected safety and security for them. I desire a surprising turn of events such that they receive unending, unconditional love and provision for basic needs. I desire their biological parents to be equipped and empowered to parent properly and advocate for them. I desire permanence for their home lives and successful outcomes for their therapies, healthcare, and educational accommodations. I desire eucatastrophe.

Our baby’s story, though still fraught with unknowns, is representative of this concept, certainly. And, for my family, just when we thought we knew what our direction and outcome would be, we’re experiencing this good and miraculous catastrophe of newborn snuggles and struggle, discomfort and joy all wrapped up together. Who am I – and what is my family – that God has brought us this far and given us a story of eucatastrophe to share with our community?

Our story

Our journey of becoming a foster family opened our eyes to the frequent occurrence of catastrophe. Order often descends to chaos (entropy) in this world, and eucatastrophe, while present, isn’t a guarantee for many children in Southwest Florida. Eucatastrophe happens often in fictional narratives, but we get only fleeting glimpses of it in the here and now. And, one child’s eucatastrophe so often accompanies another person’s tragedy.

Before we progressed through our training last summer with One More Child, I didn’t understand how a child’s story included the phrase: “I was in and out of foster homes.” The child welfare system in Florida prioritizes reunification with biological families, and placement agencies fully recognize the need to simultaneously prioritize permanence. So, then, how do children get moved from one home to another? The reasons are mulit-faceted and complex, too many to list, but here are a few:

• When children enter the system, their complete background and needs are often unknown at that time; foster families may require a placement change because they are unequipped for various needs.
• Circumstances in any given licensed foster family’s lives may change, requiring placement change or respite care.
• Children may reunify with a parent or other family members. The child welfare system’s investigation may continue, and the state may call that reunification into question based upon the investigation.

How can we respond to this chaos? How can we uphold vulnerable children in SWFL? How can we provide for glimmers of hope in the lives of children? I would ask that you research involvement in the following programs and organizations. You don’t have to become a foster family to help!

• One More Child (licensure and advocacy)
• Guardian Ad Litem Program – Florida (relational and legal advocacy)
• Foster Village of Southwest Florida (meeting practical needs for foster families and children)
• Lutheran Services (licensure and placement)
• Children’s Network of Southwest Florida (licensure and placement)

Each of these organizations advocates and provides for vulnerable children in various ways, and they need our help. Summer is a great time to consider new opportunities. It’s when we took our foster care class and started down a road of embracing blessing in struggle, joy in the unknown, and learning through discomfort and heartache. And it’s the means through which we’ve experienced our own crazy story of eucatastrophe. So, in the words of my friend and fellow foster mom, Laura Wells, “Why not dive in? Why not open your home? Now is the time!” Happy summer!

The post Five Months into Our Fostering Journey: Eucatastrophe appeared first on SWFL Family.

Tell us about yourself and your family.

I moved to Naples 25 years ago from Downers Grove, Illinois (western suburbs of Chicago). I met my wife, and we had three kids. Now, they are 15 (boy), 9 (boy), and 5 years old (girl). There’s a pretty big age gap between each kid, which has been interesting. We took our time, and we got to live with each one. We’d start missing the baby stage, look at each other, and say, “What’s one more?” We’re done now. Both of our boys are very heavily involved in basketball. My 9-year-old is heavily involved in football as well. My daughter just recently got involved in cheerleading.

Il Primo is so supportive of youth sports. Can you tell me a little bit about your “why” behind that level of support and investment?

Il Primo Pizza & Wings has restaurants from Sarasota County (North Port) down to Collier County (Naples), and all of those stores are heavily invested in those communities. It’s important to me to give back to the community through youth sports sponsorship. I’m heavily invested in the school systems as well. The kids there now are going to be running our communities in Southwest Florida – and beyond – when I get to retire. It’s important to me to make sure they get a good education.
I’m invested in our youth through funding and sponsoring sports and education, and by employing students. We employ a lot of high schoolers.

Tell me the Il Primo story.

My step dad created the brand in 1983 in Arizona. He sold those stores and then started popping up stores in Naples. He passed away in 2013, which is when I decided to take the reins and try to keep it going. We’ve been able to expand, opening two additional stores within the last several years. Our plan is to continue to grow.

What sets Il Primo apart from other restaurants in Naples?

Our business has changed over the past five years since COVID. We do more take-out business now. Where it used to be 60% dine-in business and 40% take-out, now those numbers are reversed. But what sets us apart is our focus on making our restaurants truly family friendly. Our vision is to provide a way for families to come and eat without breaking the bank. We have Disney movies playing; we have event nights where kids can come in and make their own pizzas; we have face painting nights. Everything about the restaurants is geared toward families. The idea is to let mom and dad come in and relax. We serve beer and wine only, which is intentional. When my step dad started the brand, he wasn’t interested in selling liquor. He always said, “If my restaurants get too rowdy, I’ll up the prices on beer and wine to keep Il Primo’s family environment.” Our restaurants are still geared toward the family and family togetherness.

At the end of the day, Il Primo Pizza & Wings is family-owned and operated. It’s not a corporation. We go to work every day to promote the family – for our employees and for our customers. We’re family -owned. I’m not the founder, and I’m not the owner of all the stores, but I oversee them all. But I run the business as if I was the founder. I’m proud of it. 

You mentioned growing the business. Where do you see that growth happening?

We’re looking at possible new locations in Naples and Cape Coral, and we’d like to continue to grow north into Sarasota and Bradenton. 

How do you maintain balance between your work and your family life?

I’m extremely blessed to have very good managers; they are the face of the company. That includes both kitchen and operations managers, some of whom have been with me for more than 10 years. That has made balance possible for me. There are certainly times when I’m working in the kitchen or the front counter in one of the stores. But, I can always break away and support my kids in their activities. 

What advice do you have for other dads who are business owners in Southwest Florida?

It’s so important to understand that your kids are only young once, and that you can only control the controllables. My daughter is about to start kindergarten next year, and the little years go by so fast. I’d encourage other dads to enjoy it now. I have some older friends that tell me the same thing: “Enjoy it now. Once they leave the house, you’re going to miss it.”

I value being present for my family and to create memories with them. Life is short, and I want to be able to remember these stages of life with my kids. They mean everything to me. Without them, I have nothing.

What do you want for Father’s Day?

I want to go fishing with my kids. I want to spend the day with them out on the Gulf. I want perfect weather and a beautiful day out on the water.

To find out more about Il Primo’s menu and locations, and how it supports the Southwest Florida community, visit ilprimopizza.com. Happy Father’s Day!

The post Meet the Rad Dad Behind Il Primo’s Family-Friendly Pizza in Southwest Florida appeared first on SWFL Family.

Meet Jennifer Johnson, Neapolitan Family Momentum Mom for May.

Q. Tell us about you and your family. 

A. My husband and I moved to Naples 17 years ago from Minnesota. I have 20-year old twins, a boy and a girl. The twins were born micro preemies at just over a pound. My daughter is studying architecture at Auburn University, and my son owns 239 Shine – a boat and car detailing business. Both my children love Naples, and my daughter plans to return to the Southwest Florida area after graduation.

Q. Tell us the story of True Fashionistas.

A. I grew up on a farm – my family was very poor; I was one of six kids. My grandma took us garage-sale-ing for clothes. My grandma loved going to garage sales. So, it was instilled in me from a very young age not to buy new – not to buy regularly-priced retail.

We moved to Florida to begin a new chapter of our lives, and we saw a gap in the market for high quality consignment. We envisioned a store that didn’t yet exist in Southwest Florida, and we opened True Fashionistas in 2011 with no product whatsoever. In two weeks, our store was full of clothing. In 2012, we doubled the store, and a year later, we opened the home store in the same plaza.

We revisited the idea of combining the home store and the clothing store. It turned out that people didn’t necessarily want to walk across the shopping plaza to visit both stores. So on my birthday in February 2022, we opened the store in its current iteration, tripling our size and how much product we could take. It’s crazy how quickly items fly off the racks.

Q. What sets True Fashionistas apart?

A. Fantastic customer service is what sets us apart. I want people to feel like they’re coming home when they enter the store. Our team is welcoming and inviting, and we want our customers and consigners to feel known and loved. When we opened the store in 2011, we created all the foot traffic in the Vanderbilt Shoppes Plaza. It was never busy in that plaza, so we created what we desired.

We have two kinds of customers we have to appease: shoppers and consigners. The sticky part is the consigner because clothing is so personal. It’s a part of our identity, demonstrating what we value and prioritize. When our team has to reject items for consignment, it’s difficult. Sometimes it’s because a piece isn’t in season or it’s out of fashion, but sometimes it’s just because there’s a stain or a rip. We want to make sure everyone who works at True Fashionistas is equipped to handle these situations with honesty and grace.

As the largest lifestyle resale store in all of Florida, the biggest compliment we receive is when people walk in for the first time and ask: “Is this a consignment store?” Our team does such an amazing job of making the store look beautiful and inviting. People often can’t tell that True Fashionistas is a resale store.

Q. What does entrepreneurship mean to you? What is your definition of success?

A. Entrepreneurship means I have the freedom to design a business and life I want. I can create the path I want to travel.

When you do what you love and get paid for it – that’s success. It’s not about a specific measurable or a dollar amount in the bank.

Q. What’s next for True Fashionistas?

We’re actively working to expand outside the Southwest Florida market, both in and out of the state. My husband and I never think small. Almost every day, we get asked “Are there any more of these? How can
I start one of these?” I see True Fashionistas as a national brand. 

Q. How do you balance your professional life and your role as a mom?

A. It’s all about prioritizing and deciding what’s important to you. I’m a doer. If I say I’m going to do something, I do it. I don’t waste time. I’m graduating from FGCU this fall. I wanted to get my undergrad degree, so I did it. That’s how I’m built. I see something, and I have a vision for it, and I do it.

Q. What advice would you give to other entrepreneurs in Southwest Florida?

A. As a small business coach, I help business owners implement processes and procedures so that their businesses can run without them. I ask entrepreneurs: Do you want your business to run you – or do you want to run your business? Oftentimes, it’s about knowing when to get out of your own way.

A lot of times, we as owners are the bump in the wheel. We need others to help us see how to implement processes and procedures for everything in our businesses. We must delegate what needs to get done. We expect but inspect. We trust but verify. You need to have your finger on the pulse of your business, but you don’t need to be doing things for other people. 

Q. What do you want for Mother’s Day?

A. I want to go out to lunch and dinner, and I want to go shopping. I love to shop. I never get to go do it, because I’m busy.

You can find more resources at jenniferannjohnson.com – or shop for designer resale at truefashionistas.com. Happy Mother’s Day to Jennifer and all the other fantastic, stylish, hardworking moms in and around Southwest Florida.

The post True Fashionistas Founder Jennifer Johnson Empowers Entrepreneurs and Built Florida’s Top Resale Store appeared first on SWFL Family.

We Celebrate

We celebrate growth. We’ve cycled through a few sizes of baby clothes, progressing through newborn and 0-3 month clothing. I didn’t think I’d be emotional about our baby outgrowing clothing. But witnessing onesies pulling off our baby’s tiny shoulders and being unable to zip up that 0-3 month dino sleeper brought me to tears. I want to be a mom who celebrates growth, though, as I joyfully bag up the piles of tiny clothing for the next bundle of new life.

We celebrate sleep. Our baby is sleeping through the night (mostly). Every night is a bit different, but we’re thrilled for stretches of sleep and a seemingly consistent routine.
We celebrate a sense of permanence. We know our baby, and our baby knows us. We feel connected as a family of four. Though we are still unsure of the future, we experience a deeply rooted peace as we hold our children with open hands.

We celebrate smiles and laughter. Our baby smiles readily and giggles every day. Silly songs, friendly greetings, cheek cuddles, and happy words incite big smiles and laughter from our little one. Our hearts are full.

We celebrate a settled sister. Our sweet daughter brings us so much comfort, even as she’s had to release her hold on her “only child identity”. Though she’s first to share that having a baby is not always easy or comfortable, she praises God consistently for the opportunity to demonstrate unconditional love and care for a vulnerable baby.

We celebrate our family and our community. My in-laws take the kids once a week for a couple of hours so Jim and I can have a weekly date night. Our church community continues to support our family in so many ways with babysitting, groceries, baked goods, and hand-me-down baby clothing and supplies.

We Respond

I’ve shared various comments we have received from others, which I believe can inform and encourage the process of becoming a foster family. Opening our homes to vulnerable children is often accompanied by hurt and heartache, but it’s ultimately a holy calling to unconditional love, and to building our community here in Southwest Florida. When people comment that any given child is “lucky to be with us,” my response is always and very quickly, “We are the lucky ones. We are the blessed ones.” There is great blessing – far beyond what we pour out – in adding to our family. We receive far more than we give. I know many of my fellow foster parents, and those who have adopted children, would agree wholeheartedly.

Recently, when we share our story of welcoming a newborn into our home, we have fielded the comments: “Wow, you started back at the beginning,” and “I can’t imagine starting over.” Yes, we are a couple in our 40s, with a 10 year old and a newborn. We weren’t planning this. We weren’t expecting this. But we welcome and celebrate the new life in our home.

Others may not be able to imagine it, but praise God we got the chance to start over. What a privilege, honor, and joy! I understand what they mean, of course. When I had my 10 year old back in 2014, it felt so incredibly hard – discombobulated, uncomfortable, exhausting, torturous. For the first three months of her little life, I thought to myself “How has the human race continued on? Why would anyone do this more than once?” Now, 10 years later, I understand how short that newborn season really is, and how quickly the little years fly by. I regret those thoughts in light of infertility, and we delight in the chance to start over again.

I’ve released any expectations I’ve had in this life of what the decades will bring. My grandma always said, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” She and my grandpa lived very simply and humbly in a small farming community in rural Illinois and though not remotely wealthy, they lived like the richest of kings, giving generously and opening their home often to whomever needed fellowship or a place to eat or stay. We may make plans, but we’ve found that true life, true joy, true success is embracing the simplicity of the unexpected and holding our resources with open hands.

And so, I consider myself among the most richly blessed this spring season of 2025, and no matter what tomorrow brings, I’m so thankful for it all. I treasure it all up and store it in my heart – all the newborn cuddles, the wide smiles, the feedings, the growth, the celebrations, and the unexpected. Happy Mother’s Day!

This is the latest article I’ve written about our journey as a foster family. Here are the previous installments:

• The Learning and Chaos as the Fostering Journey Continues
• Fielding Questions as a Foster Parent
• Navigating Foster Care in Naples: A Family’s Continuing Journey
• Navigating the Challenges of Becoming Foster Parents

The post Finding Joy in the Unexpected: Celebrating Foster Motherhood in Southwest Florida appeared first on SWFL Family.

It’s been almost three months since we took our first permanent placement as a foster family – a newborn. Healthy, thriving, and smiley, our baby represents a tremendous blessing to our family. Struggles abound, but blessings do too. We’re learning, growing, and changing as a family, and we count it all as pure joy.

The Learning

Asking for help.

Heather Finocchiaro of Foster Village reminded me at church one Sunday that her organization delivers welcome packs the day after placement. Foster Village maintains a resource center in North Naples to get families what they need to care for foster placements. About a month in, I realized that we needed meals, which our church also sets up for families through the Meal Train platform. I’ve texted neighbors when a fussy baby prevents me from fixing dinner, which is simultaneously humbling and life-giving. I understand in a new way that self-sufficiency only works in the context of community; I’ve had to learn that it’s okay to ask for help when we need it.

Navigating change alongside our daughter. Every routine/normal activity or event now feels different for my family, and especially for my 10-year-old daughter. Going to my parents’ pool, a sleepover with her grandparents, her spring break – now with our sweet baby. For her, the baby (often) represents an intrusion, and she expresses the accompanying angst by grasping for control. The baby also represents a change in identity. She spent 10 years as an only child and now she has – for all intents and purposes – a sibling, who arrived without (much) warning. Emotions tied to value statements abounded the first eight weeks for her (e.g. “I t’s horrible that the baby’s coming with us camping.”). But, the other day, she commented, “I’ve decided to think of [the baby] as my [sibling].” We’ll take it.

Saying “no.”

Like many women, I hate saying “no.” I’m a do-whatever-it-takes, burn-the-3 a.m.-oil, make-everyone-happy Yes Mom (and Yes Employee). Now, I can’t always drop whatever I’m doing and make chocolate chip cookies. I can’t attend training events, and I can’t say yes to every meeting maker or insert myself into every project. And, I’ve started saying no to workouts in favor of naptime on the couch. It’s not hard caring for a baby. But, it is hard to care for a baby AND do anything else.

The questions and comments I’ve considered.

Last month, I mentioned some questions and comments I get often as I’m out and about. Our modus operandi is this: we don’t get offended, and we respond as best as we can while protecting our family and our baby.

Every day, I’m reminded of how fascinated Southwest Floridians are by new life. People love babies – they love to ask questions about babies, and they love to talk about the babies in their own life. When we share a bit about our baby, we’ve heard the comment a couple of times: “Your baby’s so lucky.” I smile and nod and often respond with, “We’re the ones who are blessed.” I think they mean something like: the baby’s lucky to be at our home, to be placed with us, to not be exposed to possible neglect or mistreatment. But, we don’t believe luck factors into the equation, and we also believe the best about parents in SWFL – that they love their children deeply and often experience extenuating circumstances that don’t allow them to parent appropriately. And, we do believe we are deeply blessed to have this baby in our home. We don’t take it for granted, even with fussy witching hours, endless bottle sanitization routines, and sleepless nights. We pray often: “Thank you,” and “Help!”

I mentioned last month the question one friend asked – with honesty and humility: “How can you love a baby that isn’t yours?” He really wanted to know how we could love without condition, without promise of tomorrow, with an uncertain future. Over the last few weeks, I’ve realized that I love that question. It’s a question that truly considers the gravitas of the situation. A tiny bundle of vulnerability lives in our home, depends on us for everything, learns about the world through our rhythms and routines, through our family culture. It’s serious business with long-term consequences. As we navigated infertility, I used to get the question from time to time: “Why don’t you just adopt?” It’s an honest question; one that didn’t offend. But it’s not as easy as that. Adoption requires a significant investment of time, money, and a passionate commitment to the outcome – not to mention the continuous asking of the question: “How will I love a baby that isn’t mine?”

It’s true, we chose this life, this path, this chaos, knowing one thing: We’re responsible for loving, nurturing, teaching, and caring for our babies without knowing or understanding what the outcome of their lives will be, and often prior to knowing their unique needs or struggles. So, we relinquish control, opening our hands, all the while recognizing that most of what they’re learning, they are learning from my husband and me. We demonstrate sacrificial love daily, mostly unconsciously, performing menial tasks and making thousands of decisions while our hearts (our kids) just dance around – exposed and vulnerable – outside our bodies. They scream and cry, they destroy our furniture, they go to school, play with friends, win awards and fail at sports, make mistakes, chew their nails, defend the weak, refuse to eat the food in front of them, and then they grow up before our eyes. It’s inevitable, and yet it shocks us. We rip out our hair and then shed a tear; we (at times) wish it away and simultaneously wish it wouldn’t end so quickly. All that to say, the journey of parenting doesn’t discriminate between bio and foster and adoption; we’re all in this chaos together.

Read the other installments in Anna’s fostering journey here.

The post The Learning and Chaos as the Fostering Journey Continues appeared first on SWFL Family.