Embrace the Quirkiness
Discover the World’s Largest Potato, a Biblically-correct 2,000-ton Ark, and a 40-foot biologically correct lobster
By Karen T. Barlett
Bob Payne, who resides in the uppermost stratosphere of American travel writers, launched his career as a hitchhiking teenager who happened upon the World’s Tallest Thermometer. From there he went on to spend his entire life on an epic journey of discovery, revealed in his new 142-country memoir, Escape Clauses: Getting Away With a Travel Writing Life.
With kids and grandkids (and you know, budget considerations), we can’t all head off untethered to the far reaches of the planet. Luckily, it’s not always how far you go but the camaraderie, silliness, and beyond-weird roadside attractions along the way.
Did Bob ever commune with the World’s Largest Potato (Boise, Idaho), America’s Largest Garden Gnome (Kerhonkson, New York), Giant SpongeBob (Clements, Maryland), or the weird UFO Welcome Center (Bowman, South Carolina)? Probably not. But we can.
There’s plenty of fun stuff out there, and you can find a few of them right here.
Florida
Betsy the Lobster, Florida Keys
You can’t miss the massive 30’ x 40’ biologically correct fiberglass crustacean waving her 12 spiny legs and antennae at travelers along the Overseas Highway in Islamorada. The old girl, who lives in front of the Rain Barrel Village shops and galleries, has been luring tourists to stop in for nearly half a century.
Solomon’s Castle, Ona
Not surprisingly, the three-story castle just northeast of Sarasota is TripAdvisor’s #1 of two things to do in Ona. Constructed of polished-up aluminum newspaper printing plates, it’s a mashup of a medieval castle with a moat restaurant, the Alamo, and a 16th century Spanish galleon. It’s a family legacy run by the founder’s son. Ticket costs can add up for a family on a budget.
Kentucky
Ventriloquist Museum, Fort Mitchell
Across the Ohio River from Cincinnati, you’ve got Vent Haven Museum, which houses about 1,000 ventriloquist dummies. It’s under renovation for the big reopening in the spring. You go on ahead; I may catch up with you.
Ark Encounter, Williamstown
Also in the great state of Kentucky is the 510-foot-long Noah’s Ark, built to biblical specifications and weighing in at 2,000 tons. It claims the title of Largest Timber-frame Structure in the World. With its impressive interactive exhibits, exquisite craftsmanship by Amish artisans, and daily audiovisual presentations, it’s very family friendly.
Georgia
Smiling Peanut, Plains
You might recognize the toothy grin of America’s 39th president, who happens to live right around the corner from this 13-foot peanut. Jimmy Carter himself has never been amused by the monument, but it does make a great selfie.
www.nps.gov/places/smiling-peanut.htm
Old Car City USA,White
This 34-acre graveyard of 4,000-plus classic vehicles in various stages of rust, artistic enhancement and overgrowth calls itself the world’s largest open-air classic car museum. It’s a dream for fashion shoots and a certain kind of funky photographer (me). Check out the collection of Styrofoam cup art. Modest admission plus $10 for your camera.
The Panoramic Encyclopedia of Everything Elvis, Cornelia
According to Joni Mabe the Elvis
Babe’s website, her
Elvis museum houses some 30,000 Elvis Presley items (postage stamps, velvet paintings, lava lamps, concert tickets, you name it). In case you’re interested, there’s a formaldehyde-preserved wart in a glass vial enveloped in red velvet, purportedly donated by Elvis’s doctor, and a “Maybe Elvis” toenail clipping Mabe found at Graceland. Each August she hosts the annual Big E Festival and Elvis tribute artist competition. Cornelia is 90 minutes northeast of Atlanta.
www.corneliageorgia.org; www.bigefest.com
Goats on the Roof, Tiger
At this 1970s-era roadside tourist attraction the biggest draws are 14 goats that may, at any given time, be grazing on the sod roof or trying to dine on the back pocket of your shorts. You’ve also got your food truck, your fudge shop, your playground with quirky climbing structure, your gem-mining, and your kitschy gift shop. Kids love it. It’s about 45 minutes off I-75 in Georgia’s northeast corner.
New York
The Big Duck, Long Island
The 1930s-era 10-ton, 30-foot-long concrete Pekin duck in the town of Flanders has red Model T taillights for eyes. Yes, they light up. Cool museum about Long Island’s duck farming, and of course, ducky souvenirs.
Illinois
The World’s Largest … Everything, Casey
If you’re into world’s largest things, head to the town of Casey, 30 minutes west of Terre Haute, Indiana, which thrives on Guinness World Records. They’ve got the World’s Largest Swizzle Spoon, Barber Pole, Pitchfork, Wind Chime, Wooden Shoes (Does Holland know about this?) and at least seven more, variously climbable, swingable, and playable. Most were built with recycled materials like telephone poles, pipes, and old oil tanks by one man on a mission to put his hometown on the map.
New Jersey
Lucy the Elephant, Margate City
Lucy the Elephant lives on the beach on the Jersey Shore. Standing 65 feet (six stories) tall, the 1881 real estate office is now a super-cool museum (yes, you can go inside!) with a brand-new facelift unveiling this month.