dad playing with daughter
Dads know how to have fun. They bend the rules, make messes and add spontaneity to life. Any mom who has left her husband to care for the kids while she’s away knows what it’s like to return home and find chaos in the house but smiles on everyone’s faces. In most homes, kids know they can go to mom for help to find missing clothes and homework but it’s dad they usually turn to for a little fun and spontaneity.
While each family has its own dynamic, dads generally have a more relaxed approach to life and help add balance to mom’s parenting style. That’s also what usually makes them the most popular! In our home, my children know that a Saturday with mom means chores, grocery shopping and making sure homework is done for Monday morning. But a Saturday with dad means purple macaroni and cheese, videos until their brains are numb, and pajamas until the afternoon.
So what makes a dad so much fun? Dads remember how important it is for kids to get dirty and have some fun. While moms are geared to think about the future in terms of how their kids will turn out if they watch too much television or spend too much time on the computer, dads are more concerned with letting them enjoy the passing season of childhood. They want their kids to thoroughly enjoy their childhood before they have to face the responsibilities of adulthood.
And dads may actually be helping prepare kids for the future by allowing them to enjoy their favorite pastime-playtime! Studies show that physical interactive play is important for establishing long-term emotional health. Physical play has natural anti-stress effects and can help children learn to manage their emotions more effectively. So, a little wrestling with dad not only helps form a closer parent/child bond but boosts kids’ emotional health. By encouraging playtime, dad also is creating opportunities for kids to use their imagination, solve problems, and think creatively.
Playtime also provides kids with the one thing they desire from their dad – his time. According to Jason Kurek, Resource Development Associate at the Boys and Girls Club of Collier County, one of the most important gifts a father can give his children is the gift of his time.
“Throw a ball in the backyard, sit and read together, go for a walk, play a game, talk frankly and openly about a situation or just simply hug a child as they walk through the house,” he advises. “A father needs to show his children it’s okay to show emotion. A hug, a wink, or a kiss on the forehead are simple ways to show his child they are loved and wanted. These create the bonding moments between a father and a child.”
Kurek invites dads (and moms) to share some fun, bonding moments at the Boys and Girls Club of Collier County. The Club provides an opportunity for mom and dad to share that quality time their children need. “The club offers a multitude of family night events for our members,” he says, including Family Art Nights and Family Game Nights, where kids can challenge parents to a match of wits (chess) or athletic ability (ping pong). (For more information about the Boys and Girls Club of Collier County contact Indhira at 239-325-1700.)
In addition to placing a high priority on having fun, dads also know how to add shake up an overly structured environment. While structure is important for kids, excitement is important as well. With such an emphasis in schools on preparing kids for the annual standardized testing, as well as extracurricular activities, kids have more structured schedules today than ever before. Consequently, not enough free time leads to burnout for kids, as well as adults. Dads provide a much needed respite that allows kids the chance to relax and leave school pressures behind.
Let’s face it, dads may not do everything the way moms do but they are an indispensable part of a healthy home. They’re messy, they’re fun, and they’re everything kids need them to be. So remember to treat dad extra special this year for Father’s Day-he deserves it.
Jennifer Morgan is a Naples mother and freelance writer who regularly contributes to Neapolitan Family magazine.