child being bullied
1. Speak up! When someone is bothering you, making you uncomfortable, annoying you, teasing or bullying you, or even threatening or hurting you - you’ve got to speak up and tell him or her to stop. Saying nothing and hoping the problem goes away on its own doesn’t usually work.
2. The way you speak up makes a difference, and depends on the urgency of the situation. On one hand, you don’t want to seem passive (under reacting)--communicating weakness, not setting a firm boundary, allowing the problem to continue. On the other hand, you don’t want to seem aggressive (over reacting)--letting anger get the best of you, responding with intense verbal and physical attacks of your own. Your goal is to be confident and assertive, staying firm and calm in the face of trouble. If the situation is barely a threat, it might take only a few firm and polite words to resolve it. If there is immediate danger, you need to speak up very loud and clear, and be ready to back up your words with the appropriate actions to protect yourself.
3. Stand up for yourself! Don’t let people hurt you. You can sharpen your reflexes so you can block an attacker’s strikes (like we practice in martial arts class), and you can get away from the danger. If you’re concerned about getting in trouble at school for defending yourself (since many schools have a zero-tolerance policy) you can use pushing techniques to get the attacker off you or use control and restraint techniques to hold him or her until teachers or school officers can intervene. Most aggressors don’t want to fight; they want to intimidate and dominate and bully. So if you can show that you’re willing to stand up to a bully, there’s a good chance your message of “don’t mess with me” will get through.
4. Report it! Tell people what’s going on. Tell parents, teachers, friends--anyone you trust. They may not be there to help you in the moment of an attack, and they may not always be able to enforce the justice you wish they could, but the more communication the better. Build up a team of ‘good guys’ around you, people who are on your side, by letting them know what’s going on. Even if you’re embarrassed or ashamed, your close friends and family will be there to help.
5. Step in on behalf of others! When you see someone else being picked on, bullied, harassed or verbally or physically attacked, say something! Don’t turn a blind eye. Help others the same way you’d want them to help you. You can step in when it’s happening and you can report the incident, too. Afraid you’re going to get hurt if you step in? Then get help. Get an officer, a teacher, a parent or anyone you trust. Help reinforce the stance that bullying isn’t cool and won’t be tolerated.
6. Practice, role play and rehearse. This class only gave you a few scenarios to practice your verbal and physical skills. Real confidence won’t be built in one session, and that’s why we practice these skills in martial arts class over and over, week after week. You can also practice at home with your parents’ guidance. The more you talk about it and act it out, the better prepared you’ll be to handle the problem if you ever have to.
Impact Martial Arts offers free kids’ safety and bully defense classes. Check the online calendar at ImpactMartialArtsNaples.com for dates of upcoming free defense classes for children and adults.
For more information on Impact Martial Arts, call (239) 596-1633.