Mother and daughter doing dishes illustration
The best way for children to achieve this sense of capability is to be assigned household responsibilities. Offering children opportunities makes them feel essential to the family unit and teaches basic skills, acceptance of responsibility, and self-discipline.
Reward
Whether to compensate and reward children for their work is a difficult question. Experiencing self-satisfaction from work is important. Yet even adults receive compensation for their work and then reward themselves in many ways, from mini shopping sprees and eating out to buying recreational toys and taking vacations. So your best bet is to take a middle-of-the-road approach. Assign your child some responsibilities without reward, such as cleaning his room and taking care of personal belongings.
But offer an allowance or rewards for additional tasks. Children learn valuable lessons from earning as well. They learn to handle money and come to understand that hard work pays off, just as it does in the adult world. Whether your child receives a reward for a particular task or not, always praise the efforts. This helps to reinforce the intrinsic value of completing a task.
Age appropriate chores
Toddlers and preschoolers are more capable than we realize. In these early years, children should take on household tasks. Remember that attention span is short at this age, so keep chores brief when assigning them to little ones unless the chores are especially fun. Your preschooler can help with simple chores like setting the table, emptying wastebaskets, dusting, sorting dirty clothes and picking up toys.
Elementary age children are more coordinated and capable of performing better quality work. In addition to the previous items, your elementary age child can fix her breakfast, help pack lunches, clean off the dinner table, load the dishwasher, wash windows and clean bathroom sinks.
Kids in middle school and beyond can learn nearly any task. During the teen years, introduce new tasks periodically so your adolescent can master all skills. Your teen can organize the garage, basement, and closets, fix dinner, do laundry and ironing and do minor household repairs.
It’s not too late
If your child is beyond preschool or elementary age and you haven’t offered many household responsibilities in the past, don’t despair. While it’s better to start when children are young, it will be more difficult, but it’s not too late. Make a plan today to set your child on a path toward self-reliance. You’ll both be glad you did as you watch your child reap the benefits of growing into an independent, successful young adult.