An everyday concern for parents is how their child is doing in school. Parents looks for ways to help their kids keep their grades up, stay on top of assignments, and set goals for themselves. When a tool is available to facilitate these challenges, it can be essential to their child’s growth and success in school.
When our kids are in middle and high school, parent involvement in school seems to diminish. It’s not as easy to reach out to teachers, principals, and guidance counselors as it was during the elementary years. With the larger number of students enrolled, there is less time for staff and faculty to respond quickly to each parent’s questions and emails. To top it off, kids don’t want to talk about their schoolwork as much during their adolescent years, and they often take on the responsibility of communicating with teachers and keeping tabs on their grades. Parents might feel like they have less access to information compared to their child’s elementary years. The quest to know your child’s grades and assignments becomes more difficult, but we no longer need to wait until report cards or interims come out.
Many schools now have parent portals. Parents can track their child’s grades and assignments online. The schools use it to boost student performance by increasing parental awareness. Parents say it eases the stress of trying to find out how their child is doing throughout the year.
Reaching out to local parents, I was surprised to find that most moms I spoke with use the portal, especially since I’m not an avid user of it. I know my daughter accesses it frequently. She checks to see if a grade has been entered or what her course grade looks like at any given time. She uses it as a guide to stay aligned with where she wants to be. Because of the volume of grades teachers enter for all their students, she’s even found a grade entered incorrectly more than a few times and was able to bring it to the teacher’s attention before it was permanently recorded. That alone was worth the time she’s spent checking.
I talked with teachers, parents, principals, guidance counselors, and students regarding their feelings about the portal. Almost all of them (except students) suggested it was a delicate topic. Some felt as if they were stalking the student by checking it more than they cared to admit. Others said they were relieved to have the ability to engage their children and have a conversation to help them with their assignments and grades. They hoped to prevent a grade dropping or catch a missed assignment. A common thread was some parents wouldn’t use it as much with one child as they would with another, since one needed more intervention from a parent to follow through on assignments and failing grades. Some parents even dared to admit they used the portal information to determine their child’s social activities for the weekend ahead.
I spoke to teachers who use it for their own children. They stated it was important to check the portal. They frequently receive phone calls and emails from parents wondering why their child had a failing grade on their report card. Teachers felt strongly that if those parents had regularly used the portal, they would have been informed and could have helped their child improve before the end of the quarter. One teacher also stated she loved hearing how utilized it is by both parents and students.
There are many critics of the parent portal. They suggest it often is used for helicopter-style parenting and that some parents monitor their children’s grades too often. They say it allows the parent too much control over something the student should be responsible for, and having the constant reminders from parents won’t encourage independent habits.
“Online grading networks and parental micromanage can undermine a student’s trust, responsibility, and motivation,” said Jessica Lahey, educator and author of The Gift of Failure.
According to Lahey, schools that establish limits on parental access and provide parents with training on using the portal in multiple languages report the most benefits from using parent portals. Some schools found it helpful to limit parents to checking the portal twice each semester, or designated specific days or weeks when parents could access their child’s grades.
Weighing the options
If you’re on the fence about the parent portal, or find it has becoming a bit of an obsession, here are some pros and cons to consider:
Pros
• It details the student’s schedule, teachers’ names, and courses for the current semester.
• It helps parents stay up to date on their child’s absences and tardiness.
• Both parent and child can stay updated on grades and assignments.
• Formal test scores (state testing, etc.) are all in one place.
• Teachers can communicate grades to parents through the portal.
• Parents can check to see if their child is having trouble with schoolwork, and immediately step in to help them stay on task through the challenging course or assignment. (For instance, not understanding something in math usually will spiral out of control as the lessons move forward.)
The students I talked to like the portal. They find out grades earlier and are made aware of any missing assignments.
Cons
• Day-to-day updates seemingly overstep your child’s privacy. If they know Mom or Dad are watching everything, it may deplete their confidence and lead to frustration with their parents.
There’s a time and place to discuss your child’s schoolwork, but not necessarily every day.
• We aren’t letting our children experience the failure they’ve created and the ability to fix it themselves. When we jump in to save them each time, they aren’t forming habits to resolve problems on their own.
• Critics say portals can stress out parents and create children who are irresponsible and dependent on their parents to keep them on track.
• Checking stats daily can place parent focus more on grades than on their child’s long-term success habits and satisfaction.
Tips for using the parent portal
With so many relatable pros and cons being considered, here are eight tips to keep in mind when using your parent portal:
1. Make sure to utilize it for other things as well. You can find college research information, scholarship program listings, state testing scores, schedules, and other important topics on the portal.
2. If your child has a problem with attendance and tardiness, the portal helps you to monitor whether your child is at school and on time.
3. Keep an open discussion about your student’s grades. Use the portal to help your child with their studies. (Why so many tardies? Why is your grade so low? I’m sorry you were so close to getting that “A” and didn’t get one. Let’s think about extra credit this coming quarter to help.)
4. Check only occasionally.
5. Make sure there isn’t stress, worry, or frustration involved for yourself or your child. That’s not the point of parent portals. If you are a portal-supporting parent, set dates within each month when you and your child can sit down and visit the portal together. Discuss the things you see, including both good and bad news.
6. Stay off your child’s back about grades. Let them know you trust them to be on top of their grades. We want them to know we can’t always do everything for them and it’s okay to learn the hard way. Experiencing the independence now will give them the tools the need to perform and succeed at college or at a job.
7. Let your student see their grade before you do. Aim for a respectful conversation when discussing the grade with them.
8. Think of portals like our phones. They are always going to be available to us. It’s up to each of us to limit the use, schedule the appropriate time, and use it to our benefit, not to our dismay. The portal is a nonoffensive tool that benefits our children, not an invitation to constantly monitor their grades. Even though it’s called a “parent” portal, remind your kids that it is for their benefit.
Avoid micromanaging your kids
As adults, some of our days are better than others, and it’s the same way with our kids. If their grades dip a little, most students know it and will be anxious to bring them back up. Having a micro-managing parent waiting at home wanting to know “why the bad grade?!” adds to their anxiety.
Letting your child find the tools to help pull themselves back up again helps them learn to do the same in other life situations. Allowing the “struggle to be real” helps them build their resilience and solve their own dilemmas, without having to answer for it each time. And whether they decide to reach out to their teacher or to us, they won’t hesitate if we’ve kept the conversations about their grades respectful and engaging.
The parent portal is there to help us raise bright, independent, and knowledgeable children. Using it effectively supports the goal we have of helping our children be happy and successful.
Katherine Baron is a mom of two, a preschool teacher at Vanderbilt Learning Center, a freelance writer, and author. She founded the Back to Being a Woman online site to inspire women to rise above their challenges. You can find her at backtobeingawoman.com.