Brooke was physically, emotionally and financially bankrupt when she arrived at The Shelter for Abused Women & Children with a garbage bag of clothes and her two dogs.
At 20, she had been abused her entire life; first by her mother and then by her boyfriend Jeff. Although he did not work, Jeff took over all their finances and withheld money to control and punish Brooke. She lived in constant fear. If she came home late from work, she was threatened or physically abused. Sometimes Jeff would show up at her workplace and harass her in front of her coworkers.
Socially isolated, Brooke’s only source of happiness was spending time with her dogs. When Jeff began to abuse them, she took a coworker’s advice and came to The Shelter because it had a kennel. She arrived bruised, broken and ashamed.
Brooke’s story is not unique.
In 2017, Omaida Garcia was shot to death by her boyfriend as she hid in the bedroom closet of her North Naples townhouse. Months later, Barbara Bitterman was shot in the face by her husband in the bedroom of their upscale home in a North Naples gated community. The two were very different women from very different walks of life, who died as if holding each other’s hand.
On Sept. 16, 2023, Laura Candia was violently murdered on a public street in Immokalee. Her life was taken just 7 minutes from our emergency shelter.
Laura was a passenger in her great-grandmother’s car when her abuser struck them with his vehicle and shot round after round into their car. Laura died at the scene and her great-grandmother was flown to the hospital with 15 bullet wounds.
Laura was just 20 years old. She leaves behind a beautiful daughter and a family struggling with tremendous trauma and loss. Laura could have been your daughter, granddaughter or great-granddaughter because domestic violence does not discriminate. It crosses all ethnic, economic, and geographic boundaries. Victims and abusers live next door, socialize at your club, work out at your gym and sit next to you at worship.
Laura is the 80th documented victim of domestic violence homicide in Collier County since The Shelter started keeping records in 1993. It is vital that we, as a community, speak out and work to raise awareness for services that help victims before they become a statistic.
We are fortunate that Laura’s killer did not take more lives during his public murdering spree, but many other communities have not been as fortunate. We see it on the news every night. Failure to recognize and report domestic violence not only endangers victims but puts our entire community at risk because, as Laura’s story shows, violence in the home does not stop at the front door. It endangers all of us.
While their deaths made a few local headlines, their stories fell second to news of delayed water hookups to a local Publix and the school board’s approval of new textbooks. After it was revealed that the deaths were not suspicious, there were no follow-up headlines on the real story – their lives were brutally taken by the very persons to whom they once entrusted them, in the very place they should have been the safest – their homes.
For those who could read between the lines, the news accounts raised valuable awareness that domestic violence does not discriminate. It crosses all ethnic, economic, and geographic boundaries. Victims and abusers live next door, socialize at your club, work out at your gym and sit next to you at worship. Omaida, Barbara, and Laura were your neighbors.
Last year in Collier County, there were over 1,600 9-1-1 calls regarding domestic violence. Chances are very likely you know at least one of these victims because domestic violence crosses all ethnic, economic, and geographic boundaries from Port Royal to Immokalee.
At The Shelter, Brooke had time to focus on herself and heal. She received counseling and came to understand the abuse she suffered was not her fault. She also took part in The Shelter’s economic empowerment classes, applied for a credit card and opened a savings account. She found the self-confidence to eventually enroll in technical college and move into her own apartment.
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Statistics show that one in three women will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. Abuse can be physical, emotional, sexual, financial and almost always a combination. The batterer may deny or deflect blame onto others, use intimidation, coercion and threats to control their victim(s). Many, like Brooke, suffer in silence, unsure where to turn for help.
Although The Shelter is probably best known for providing protection, it is but one leg of The Shelter’s three-pronged mission – to prevent, to protect, to prevail.
Prevention is the key to social change. It begins at home, at school and in the workplace. In partnership with Collier County Public Schools, The Shelter presents age-appropriate programming designed to prevent domestic violence before it even begins. Young children receive the message that Hands are for Helping, Not for Hurting. Teens learn to recognize unhealthy relationships and early signs of domestic violence. Through the Raising Gentle’men program, young men and boys challenge traditional male stereotypes of aggression and control. The Shelter’s community and professional education programs provide employers, medical personnel, and first responders with the tools needed to recognize and provide assistance when they suspect abuse.
Brooke’s life might have been different had she learned the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. Perhaps her employer or physician might have intervened had he or she known the signs of abuse and how to offer her assistance. Jeff’s life might have been impacted by a Raising Gentle’men advocate. We will never know.
What we do know is that failure to recognize and report domestic violence puts the entire community at risk because violence in the home does not stop at the front door. It seeps out into our workplaces, schools, social circles and places of worship. We see the tragic results in the headlines every day.
In addition to the devastating cost these crimes have on victims, the financial cost to the community is substantial. In 2022, costs associated with domestic violence in Collier County exceeded $31 million in law enforcement, court costs, medical care, social services, lost wages and job productivity.
We cannot remain silent upon experiencing, witnessing or hearing about incidents of domestic violence. We must take a stand to help victims and, ultimately, put an end to domestic violence in Collier County.
Assistance is a phone call away. If you or someone you know is impacted by domestic violence, call The Shelter’s crisis line at 239-775-1101. If you want to learn how you can help end domestic violence in our community, go online to naplesshelter.org.
Editor’s note: Save the crisis hotline numbers under an alias on your phone to use as needed or to share with a potential victim. Using an alternative name for the number helps to protect victims whose phone and internet use may be monitored by an abuser.