bullying hand up photo
by Alex Timin, Owner of Impact Martial Arts
Lots of parents worry whether their kids will be okay as they enter a new grade or new school. Will they be the target of bullying? How will they handle peer pressure? Are they prepared to deal with trouble on the bus, around neighborhoods, or even if they’re approached by a stranger? Here are a few things you can do to give your kids a chance at a safer school year.
1. Do your best to keep communication between you and your kids open, honest and trustworthy. If they’re uncomfortable with a situation, anxious, scared or hurt, you want to know about it. You want them to be as comfortable as possible coming to you with information and for help. Talk to them without making them feel interrogated. Occasionally, pose age appropriate “what if” questions to keep them in the mindset of being safe, such as “What would you do if there was a fire at school?” or “What would you do if you or one of your friends was getting picked on?”
2. Help your kids learn when it’s appropriate to speak up against something they feel is wrong. Just as important, make a little time to practice what to say and how to say it. Effective verbal skills are a key component of personal safety and self-defense. Kids (and teens and adults too) can learn to recognize when something’s not right and to act fast when it’s happening. Whether it’s a bullying situation, a mischievous friend trying to get them in trouble, an older kid trying to start a fight, kids can learn to raise their voice and give a firm NO, STOP, BACK OFF, or other confident command in the face of threat or danger. Acting out pretend scenarios with your kids can be a valuable learning experience without having to be scary, and the better they do in practice, the better they will respond in a real-life situation.
3. Share your beliefs with your kids about when it’s okay to respond physically. Ideally, physical techniques are the last resort when it comes to self-defense. Unfortunately, there are times when it’s necessary to fend off an attacker. If a situation escalates to that level, kids need to know how to escape from grabs and holds, how to take advantage of vulnerable targets, how to protect themselves from injury, and how to find an exit to safety. Martial arts training is excellent for helping kids become more confident in these physical skills, and also balances the learning of these techniques with values like respect, self-control and integrity. Even if you don’t enroll your kids in martial arts, talk with them about what to do in dangerous situations. Make time to practice together, to rehearse scenarios and to discuss the consequences of your actions. By planning together for emergencies, you can help keep your family safer from potential harm.