A decade ago, a bully might torment a child in the classroom, lunchroom, on the school bus or playground. But when that child was safely back at home, the torture would end. Now the bullying can be endless and does not stop when the school day is over. Get tips on how to protect local children from cyberbullying and keep them safe.
Cyberbullying can take many forms. It can be messages and texts that exclude a child, name calling, or even threats.
“I expect that this particular type of crime is underreported,” said Wade Williams, a lieutenant with the INTERCEPT Task Force and Victim Services Bureau with the Collier County Sheriff’s Office (CCSO). “It is done in a way such as exclusion, like tagging all your friends, but [excluding] one of them, or shaming, things that might not be criminal.”
Williams says most of the cyberbullying cases are handled by school deputies and are almost never prosecuted. He says the best thing parents can do is help empower their child to learn to deal with online bullies.
“Mentally preparing them to be strong in their character because [bullies] prey on kids who are vulnerable,” Williams suggested. “How kids handle situations depends on the kids. Having emotional armor [and] emotional intelligence helps. Kids are going to be mean. They are going to say mean things.”
Williams also suggests that parents monitor electronic devices. He recommends an app such as Bark that pulls out cyberbullying comments.
“Bark is the best because AI will monitor conversations and will pull out hate speech for the parents. Canopy and SaferKid are really good, too,” Williams said. “Install [an app on your child’s phone] and have a conversation with your kid. Then watch your child for signs [that they are experiencing cyberbullying].” He noted changes in personality or grades as indicators that there could be a problem.
Williams also recommends the website Take It Down from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (takeitdown.ncmec.org). It will scan files and automatically flag an inappropriate comment and send it to law enforcement if it is problematic.
Williams’ other tips include: Don’t respond to the bully, and block the bully.
“Set up a new account if you are really being harassed,” he advised. “Make a report to the electronic user provider if it violates usage. It will shut down that person’s account. Talk to an adult, of course.”
Bullying can be reported via the CCPS website. Visit the Bullying Resources page (www.collierschools.com/bullying) and click on the red button marked “Click here to submit a Collier County Public Schools bullying incident form.” There is also information on the definition of bullying and what to do if you are being bullied.
One of the most effective tools against cyberbullying, according to Williams, is peer pressure.
“Most kids don’t agree with bullying,” Williams stressed. “If [students] have the courage to say something, it has an effect where it spreads, and then other kids might jump in and then the bully might be the one being ostracized. It does have a big effect when kids stand up [to a bully]. That has a pretty powerful effect on shutting it down.”
What the kids are saying
Students are given some of these tips in local elementary schools. All fourth graders in Collier County Public Schools are taught a lesson by a youth relations deputy on the dangers they might find online and how to protect themselves. Fifth graders receive lessons in peer pressure and online dangers. There are also some middle school forums on the topic.
During a recent afternoon, several middle and high school students spoke about cyberbullying. They said they have not been victims but have seen it at their schools.
“We see it,” said Larry Olmedo, a high school sophomore. “The most basic ones are ‘I hope you get cancer. You were a mistake.’ There are two options. You can either say something even more hurtful, or you can ignore it.”
“There is a girl that is a freshman at our school that gets bullied all the time,” added high school sophomore Veronica Trinidad-Lopez. “People text her, and they post it. She mostly ignores it.”
Veronica says most of the bullying takes place on Snapchat. That app has a delete-after-view option that makes the comment or photo disappear after it is read, leaving little evidence. She said you can screenshot the comment, but that doesn’t show what was said before so it becomes only partial evidence.
Christian Olmedo, a seventh grader, says comments are often seen on Roadblocks or Minecraft.
“One of the people on it keeps bullying people for being poor,” he described.
Serious Consequences
Patty DeVost, a local licensed clinical social worker, says children and parents need to be aware of cyberbullying because it can have drastic implications.
“There are actual cases of kids committing suicide over cyberbullying,” she said. “Parents feel helpless. It is not just the words on the screen but the fallout. Something is said about a kid, and no one wants to talk about it. And there are all these repercussions for this child.”
Sgt. Karen Eggleston-Negron with CCSO oversees seven local schools. She said a lot of the cyberbullying she sees is exclusion or comments aimed at getting a reaction.
“I didn’t have this when I was a kid,” Eggleston-Negron said. “Now these kids are on devices so much, and unless someone is watching, they don’t know what is being said to them. It is a different world for them.”
Bigger problems
Williams said sextortion is a much bigger problem than cyberbullying. Sextortion is the practice of extorting money or sexual favors from someone by threatening to reveal evidence of their sexual activity. He said a typical case might involve a child or teenager who becomes friends with someone online. That person pretends to be their age and lures them into sending an embarrassing photo. Then they threaten to plaster the photo online if they are not paid.
“With the sextortion cases we are getting with teens, it is usually teen boys,” Williams revealed. “They have less inhibitions sharing photos of their private areas.”
Williams says there is a group called the Yahoo Boys based in Nigeria and they are known for extorting kids.
The group creates a fake profile of a young girl. They target a boy online who appears not to have friends, and find out details about them, such as their school. The fake girl will tell the boy how handsome he is, and then shares an inappropriate photo. The fake girl asks for a photo in return. Once that photo is sent, “they turn on them,” Williams explained. “They will say ‘You have until noon on Thursday to pay $300’. They will tell them how to get a gift card or use a parent’s credit card. In Collier County, we get 20-30 of those cases a year and it is growing. In 2022 we had 15-20 cases and the prior year only 5-10. That is the crime that is growing.”
Taking control
Some young teens say they spend four to six hours a day on their devices. That might be more time than they spend with their parents some days. The most popular sites for teenagers are TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram. Tweens say they spend time on Roadblocks and Minecraft and while they mostly play the games, there is also message interaction. It can be a secretive world that shuts out parents, which leaves parents in the dark both when their child is bullying another or when their kid is the target of a bully.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Wade Williams, a lieutenant with the INTERCEPT Task Force and Victim Services Bureau with the Collier County Sheriff’s Office says it is important that parents are aware of what their children are doing online. He recommends a site called Bark (www.bark.us) where parents can get information if there are any conversations about alcohol, drugs, or bullying. He points to Canopy (https://canopy.us) and Safer Kid (www.saferkid.com) websites as other resources.
Williams has a long list of instructions for how to set parental controls on their child’s device (see below).
To ensure that you are following the right set of directions, make sure your device’s operating system is up-to-date. “It’s best to update whenever possible to ensure you have access to all the latest features,” he advised.
Williams says to download Google’s Family Link app and follow the directions to set up an account. The app allows parents to block or unblock an app, require approval for new apps, choose permissions for certain apps, and prevent a child from downloading mature apps. It also allows parents to see their child’s app activity and manage their screen time.
“Parental controls allow parents to be aware of their child’s online activity, restrict what types of services and communications they want their children to be involved in, and intervene, when necessary,” Williams concluded.
Parental Control Instructions
How to set up parental controls for your child’s Android device