“I got detention for forgetting my book three times in a row,” read Michael’s text. His mother wasn’t surprised. Michael was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 8 years old, and this wasn’t the first message she had received from school. She had hoped that he would be more organized by 13, and wonders if this is typical teenage behavior or if it is due to his ADHD. In this article, we share essential parenting strategies for teens with ADHD to help you support your child’s focus, boost their organization skills, and navigate the complexities of adolescence.
“Everyone has ADHD behavior at times,” said Dr. Sarah Cheyette, a pediatric neurologist and author of the book ADHD & The Focused Mind. Cheyette says the difference between a person with ADHD and other people is that the person with ADHD is unfocused too much of the time.
“There are differences between a child and a teen with ADHD,” Cheyette says. When a younger child has ADHD, parents tend to be more forgiving and helpful with their unfocused behaviors. A teen with ADHD may want their independence but lack the skills to focus and control their impulses. This can lead to more severe consequences than when they were younger. But parents can help their teens with ADHD improve their focus.
5 Ways to Improve Focus for Kids with ADHD
1. Positive thinking
Help your teen reframe their thoughts about certain tasks. For example, if they don’t like doing homework, encouraging them to change their mindset can help improve their focus. Reframe the negative thought (“I don’t want to do my homework”) in a more positive light (“Finishing my homework will make me feel good about this class”).
Praising their accomplishments can also help teens to think positively and improve their confidence. “Helping teens to look for their positive traits can help their overall self-esteem,” explained Eliana Walter, MS, LGPC, a counselor at B’MORE Mental Health and Wellness, LLC in Baltimore, MD.
2. The right surroundings
Emily, a parent of a 14-year-old son diagnosed with ADHD, has found that choosing the right environment helps her son’s mindset. “I encourage him to stay after school to do his homework,” she says. “This way he doesn’t become distracted by things at home, like his phone, and he can receive help from his teachers.”
It’s also important for teens to have people on their side who provide encouragement and understanding. “Support systems can help teens by accepting them for who they are and having realistic expectations,” said Walter.
3. Healthy lifestyle choices
Cheyette also stresses the importance of a healthy lifestyle. Eating right, getting enough sleep and making time to exercise all contribute to improved focus for teens with ADHD. Sleep problems can lead to issues with memory and impulse control for any child, but especially kids with ADHD.
Jen, a parent to a 12-year-old daughter diagnosed with ADHD, knows the importance of eating healthy and getting enough sleep. Her daughter experiences intense mood swings and an inability to deal with stress when she doesn’t eat or sleep well.
“Sleep is often challenging for those with ADHD, partially due to medication side effects, and also because of the ADHD brain having trouble ‘shutting down’ at night,” said Sheryl Jacobs, PhD, a clinical psychologist in Pikesville, MD. “Appropriate sleep hygiene is so critical – like turning off screens an hour before bedtime [and] listening to a calming meditation or sleep machine.”
4. Setting goals
Setting goals can help teens with ADHD improve their focus, and achieving their goals will help them feel successful, according to Cheyette.
While parents may be tempted to nag their child to make sure they are working toward their goals, it is important for teens to own their goals.
But you can still help them. “Make observations and ask questions,” Cheyette recommended. “If you notice your son’s backpack is a mess, instead of saying, ‘You need to organize your backpack,’ try saying, ‘It must be difficult to find your homework when your backpack looks like this’.”
Once you’ve framed the problem, she says, “Ask questions such as, ‘How can you help yourself?’ or ‘How can you act differently next time?’ to allow your child to think about and own their
behaviors.
Walter suggested helping teens break down tasks into smaller steps to “help them learn and succeed in their environment.”
It’s also important for them to understand the best modality for them to learn information and take breaks, said Jacobs. “I suggest a timer for the breaks, not for the study periods.”
5. Medication
Like younger kids, teens can benefit from medication. Amy, a parent of a 15-year-old son diagnosed with ADHD, bought her son a trampoline to use after school to help him release his energy. While the exercise was helpful, she saw the most improvement when her son began taking medication. “Once he was medicated he could use self-regulating strategies,” she said. “Before that, he wasn’t able to learn these strategies since he couldn’t pay attention.”
Parents and experts agree: You are your child’s best advocate. “The best advice I can give other parents is to tell them that there may be really bad times, but your child needs to know that you are in their court,” Jen said. “When your child feels like a failure or has no friends or school is horrible, they need to be able to come home to you and release their frustrations and emotions.”