After years of wanting to grow our family, my husband and I prayerfully decided to open our home to vulnerable children in need of care through the foster system. Fortunately, our 10-year-old was on board and thrilled to open our home to as many children as possible!
Interestingly, we’re almost six weeks into being officially approved by all organizations involved in the foster care licensing process and we have yet to welcome any children into our home. Much of this is circumstantial, certainly. We’ve gotten plenty of requests – phone calls, texts, and emails – about children in need of a safe home for a time. Here are a few key issues I didn’t really understand prior to becoming a foster family.
Complex and fluid situations. It is possible to say yes to a placement request and not actually welcome that child into our home. This happens for several reasons: a social worker may be able to find a foster family closer in proximity to where the child lives and attends daycare/school/etc. after they request placement from me. A social worker may find kinship or family care for the child. A social worker may also be able to find a placement for an entire sibling group, and agencies rightly prioritize keeping sibling groups together.
An overworked and burdened system. Child welfare workers and social workers are extremely busy and may not be able to answer emails, phone calls, or texts on my timeframe. This means I may not find out what happened in terms of a placement to whom we said “yes” initially.
Subsidized daycare constraints and difficult financial realities. The Early Learning Coalition (ELC) is yet another government-funded organization present in this process, which subsidizes daycare for foster children. Not every daycare facility accepts these funds. Additionally, there can be a two-week lag between applying for ELC funding and funding approval. During that time lag, foster families may need to provide private care for children not old enough for school.
Foster care placement regulations. If my family lives in a mandatory hurricane evacuation zone, and we have a foster child living in our home, we must evacuate.
A confusing web of many agencies. Our licensing agency (One More Child) does not place foster children. We receive requests for placement from a more centralized agency called Lutheran Services. It’s taken a bit of time to get a sense for the Lutheran Services team and how they process placements, and I’m still learning every day!
Impact on my child and managing disappointment and heartache. We now understand the difficult reality that we can’t necessarily tell our daughter about children who may be placed in our home until they show up at our door.
The Need is Great
If these feel like reasons not to foster, please understand the need continues to grow. And the realities of life – of trauma – in a broken and hurting world demand our attention. There are at-risk and vulnerable children in need of compassion in our community. And even though we’ve experienced disappointment and frustration with the process, we’re still encouraged, still thrilled, still nervous to welcome children into our home. Our little family is learning and processing all these realities together, praying and growing along the way.
Emanise Joseph, a placement specialist at Lutheran Services, encourages families to get involved in the system. “There is an urgent and growing need for foster homes in our community. Many children are waiting for loving families to welcome them, and the situation is becoming increasingly critical. These children are not just statistics; they are individuals who require care, support, and stability.” She challenges families in Southwest Florida: “Your home could provide the safe haven these children desperately need. The demand for foster families is rising, and we are in dire need of compassionate individuals who can make a real difference. If you can open your home to a child or sibling group, it could profoundly change their lives. Together, we could help these children find the love and support they deserve.”
A Way Forward: Foster Village SWFL
Perhaps you – like me – are overwhelmed by logistics and schedules, work, and child care. The licensing process, placement system, and the realities of the ELC certainly contribute to the overwhelm, especially in the beginning stages of figuring out the child welfare system. There are people who want to help!
Heather Finocchiaro, a Southwest Floridian, started an organization designed to provide resources to foster families, alleviating burdens and enabling them to continue caring for “the least of these.” Foster Village SWFL’s mission is to come alongside children and families who are experiencing the foster care system to show them they are not alone. Finocchiaro points to burnout and lack of support: “Over 50% of foster parents will quit in their first year. We exist to bridge the gap between these families and the local community that wants to help. Having a village of support can be a sustaining factor for foster families. We provide for tangible needs, host fun family events, and offer birthday parties for children in their care.”
I asked Heather what she might say to someone reticent to becoming a foster family because of the financial realities and tangible needs (diapers, car seats, food, beds, daycare application fees, etc.). “The tangible needs can be a large burden, and families are often not equipped and need tangible support to be able to care for these children. Foster Village SWFL is here to make sure you have everything you need once a child is placed in your care. We aim to remove as many barriers as possible to saying yes to kids who need a home.”
Finocchiaro’s passion for supporting foster families stems from her personal experience. “My husband and I were foster parents when our children were younger. We learned firsthand how isolating and lonely the journey can be. We felt like no one understood our family’s unique struggles or sacrifices. Amidst a cross-country move, our adoption of two teenagers fell apart. However, it was because of that move that we found Foster Village and wondered how different our experience would have been if we had the support of an organization like this.”
Finocchiaro’s story and insight reminds me that “foster” is both a verb and an adjective. Yes, the word denotes an intentional relationship with non-related, vulnerable children in need of compassion and care. However, the verb “to foster” involves the development of something far greater than the sum of its parts. “Families who step up to foster children quickly learn their calling is to foster a family,” Finocchiaro shares. “These children are connected to a biological family of their own, and parents whose children enter the system often lack support. Seventy percent of child removal from homes is not due to abuse but from neglect. These biological parents are often struggling to navigate child rearing on their own, and foster families often bridge this gap, stepping in to help broaden the support available to struggling parents. It’s a beautiful thing when children can go home, which about half do, and not lose more people that love them, but gain an extended family. Everyone wins.”
I’d love for you to keep following along as I share about our first placement and stories from the child welfare system.
Neapolitan Family contributing writer Anna Snyder is sharing her family's foster parenting journey. The first installment in this series is available here.