sunset on dock
Life is full of daily frustrations. It could be related to not getting enough sleep because your six year old keeps crawling into your bed at night. Or maybe it’s the traffic you have to deal with everyday on your way to work. Some of us can shrug off these everyday irritations. Others of us have a harder time letting them go. We let little hassles build on each other so that by the end of the day we are ready to explode. A better way to cope is cultivating mindful acceptance.
In the Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety, authors John Forsyth and George Eifort, explain that mindful acceptance is a skill that allows you to observe frustrations without becoming one with them. They explain it as “watching the struggle, without judging it or feeling the pain without drowning in it.”
However, it can be hard to go from an irritated and uptight state to a more relaxed and focused one. You need to be calm in order to bring patience and humor into a typically frustrating scenario.
Here are four simple ways to calm down, so that you can mindfully cope with everyday hassles:
1. Deep Breathe: You have heard this advice a million times, but do you actually do it? Like any new habit you will need to practice when you are not under pressure so you can use it when it counts. You want to breathe in through your nose counting to five in your head and then breathe out slowly out of your mouth for five. The next time you are tempted to lose your patience deep breathe for five cycles before taking any action. The more you practice, the easier it will be to calm yourself in tense situations.
2. Music Time: Put some calm or playful music on during times when you are normally stressed. If you do not have your own playlist ready to go, consider downloading the app Songza. This app allows you to select playlists according to mood, activity, or artist.
3. Pity Party: Have a quick vent session with a friend who will allow you to unload without wallowing. If you don’t have a friend like that available, consider taking 10-20 minutes to dump your frustrations out into a journal.
4. Line up treats: Decide on a reward for yourself for getting through the day. Having something nice to look forward to after juggling responsibilities all day, can break the tension you are feeling.
Learning how to calm yourself down when you are under pressure, paves the way for you to mindfully accept frustrating situations. Incorporating these habits into your life will take time, but it is well worth the effort since our children learn from us how to handle life’s little irritations.
Karyn Robinson-Renaud MSW, RSW is a freelance writer for a variety of national and regional publications who specializes in health-related topics.