I did a brief inventory of my own group membership and found over 38 groups that had the word mom, family, or parent in the title. I belong to the groups I administrate for Neapolitan Family, plus some based on local mom interests, parents of students at Florida State University, University of Florida, and parents of students at both FSU and UF. Parents of Greeks, parents of pre-law, parents of study abroad, parents who belong to my same religion, and parents that have children with a disease in common.

There seems to be a Facebook group for every kind of parent of every kind of family. Launched in 2010, nearly six years after the inception of Facebook, groups can be public, private, or secret, and members can be accepted, denied, and blocked by the administrators and moderators. Even though most groups now offer the anonymous post option to maintain a safe space for the members, nothing on Facebook is ever 100% private.

In the pandemic era, communicating in groups became an even more important way for moms to stay connected. And, in response to difficulties brought on by the pandemic and the recent catastrophic hurricane, some groups began to offer financial support and donations to struggling moms, and even staged a few middle of the night escapes to women suffering from domestic abuse.

I spoke to several local moms’ groups, and one created just for dads, about the evolution of their groups and how they became such a powerful source of support in our community.

Naples Moms 2.0: 21,100 members

The Naples Moms Group (2.0) was founded in 2018 by Naples Realtor Judy Huntley. She created the group the same day that the original Naples Moms Group was archived without warning. Because of the size of the group, Judy relies on moderators Nadine Eubanks and Renee Kirnon to monitor posts and approve new members. The group is made up of new and seasoned moms, grandmothers, and moms-to-be.

The most popular topics are not surprising: baby weaning, breast feeding, general parenting, marriage troubles, and searching for babysitters, photographers, day care, and health care providers. Not surprisingly, off-limit topics included politics and opinions about circumcision and vaccines.

There are sub groups for more specific conversations such as Naples Moms Marketplace for members to sell their personal items or to advertise their businesses, Naples Moms Virtual/Homeschooling Co-Op, Naples Moms Newcomers, as well as their own neighborhood page, Golden Gate Estates Neighbors: Advice, Tips & News.

The group also has hosted an annual holiday bazaar event, complete with mom-owned business vendors, entertainment, and food trucks.

Harnessing help beyond advice became a huge focus of the group in recent years. “During COVID, we paid rents and utilities and brought groceries to our fellow moms in need who found themselves suddenly without income,” Huntley told us. “We mobilized again after Hurricane Ian as we filled our members’ trunks with donated goods and brought them directly to the hardest hit areas in both Naples and Fort Myers, offering hope, water, ice, diapers, and even insulin. We fed an entire apartment complex of kids that hadn’t had power in weeks with a huge pizza party and brought loads of diapers and wipes.”

In addition to recent crises, the group raises thousands of dollars each Christmas and sends that money to surprise dozens of families who needed a little miracle. They also have helped pediatric cancer patients go on Disney trips, and delivered a carload of gifts, goods, and gift cards to a secret women’s shelter in Immokalee.

“We have a secret side group of women who have the resources to move mountains, and I can reach out to them with the bigger tasks,” Huntley says.

“One time, a group member submitted an anonymous post about needing a bus ticket out of here to get to family and away from an abuser,” she reflects. “My daughter and I drove straight over and brought them to The Shelter Naples. We ended up caring for her daughter briefly while she worked and got on her feet. I am happy and proud to say that today she is doing amazing, is employed, has her own place, and is getting married to a wonderful man. I am so proud to know her.”

Huntley says helping women who need to leave abusive relationships and start over has been some of the most “meaningful moments of my life.”

The Real Moms of Naples: 13,000 members

Around the same time Naples Moms 2.0 was created, another local mom and Realtor, Karly Carballea, created her own group. The Real Moms of Naples also is made up of all kinds of moms and caregivers who often belong to both groups to increase their crowdsourcing of information and opinions. For that reason, Carballea recently changed the name from Moms of Naples to The Real Moms of Naples so people would not get confused as to which group they were posting in. The topics are similar to the other mom groups but, according to Carbella, no subject is off limits as long as the conversation remains kind and respectful.

Carballea plans a monthly event that any member can attend so that they can meet other moms in real life and become friends, while patronizing the small, local businesses that often struggled during the pandemic and recent hurricanes. She also has planned volunteer events for local nonprofits such as Beverly’s Angels and Salvation Army, including a pop-up shop where families could select necessities from donated items. She currently is working on a project that will include a quarterly nonprofit event.

Naples Moms of Tweens and Teens (MOTTS): 1,118 members

This group was created by three moms because the local social media groups available in our area in 2019 were geared toward moms of infants, toddlers, and younger elementary-age children. “Parenting tweens and teens introduces daily challenges and practices in patience,” moderator Jennifer Stoneburner explains. “This group has developed a relaxed environment where moms understand that they are not alone in riding the roller coaster of parenting adolescents and budding adults.”

Stoneburner says that the best thing about the group is that the moms do not judge, and instead find ways to support, understand, and sympathize with one another.

She says the most popular posts are those that shine a humorous light on this chapter in our journey. Off-limit topics include religion, politics, and hate speech.

The group hosts a MOTTS Night Out the first week each month at a locally owned establishment, in addition to occasional daytime coffee meet-ups. “Personally, it has been amazing to observe the fellowship and the camaraderie among a group of like-minded women,” Stoneburner says. “Friendships have been forged in these monthly meet-ups, and that is what it is all about.”

The Posh Mama Club of Naples: 118 members

Moms who trend toward a more glamorous lifestyle, or who aspire to, will find like-minded mamas in The Posh Mama Club of Naples. Founded by Emely Darby, a former corporate social responsibility and public relations director, the club was created to become a safe haven for fashion-forward mothers who want a little bit of glitz and glam in between the tantrums, diaper changes, and chaos. 

TPMC focuses on the mothers’ morale through fashion expression, networking, empowerment, and fun, Darby says. She is proud that this is a diverse group of like-minded current/former entrepreneurs, educators, attorneys, brokers, physicians, and stay-at-home mamas who share a passion for fashion, beauty, and staying active within the community.

Darby says that the most popular group topics are self-identity, empowerment, latest trends, business goals, self-reflection, and the next brunch or happy hour spot, with the goal of creating “genuine friendships with women who feel the same and creating a safe space away from conflict.”

The group hosts at least four private socials per month, plus a book club and a Posh Kids social.

TPMC hosts an annual “PoshGiving” to benefit The Shelter for Abused Women and Children, and has collaborated with Cancer Alliance of Naples, Humane Society, Make-A-Wish, Golisano Children’s Museum of Naples, and Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation South Gulf Coast Chapter. 

Dads of Naples: 202 members

Are there any Facebook groups just for local dads? We found one. Dads of Naples is moderated by Jay Weitzner, who owns Symmetry Exercise Clinic in Naples. The group was created for dads to have a place to connect and have a “dad-perspective” of events, topics, and things to do in general. While the group does not have as many members as the moms’ groups, Weitzner plans to host live events to build the group, which he says is diverse in every way, including, politically, professionally, and economically, but “it’s no Reddit,” he jokes.

We regret that Karly Carbellea’s name was misspelled in the May issue.

The post Naples Moms (and Dads!) Find Community in local Facebook Parent Groups appeared first on SWFL Family.

Why aren’t they sleeping through the night?

Why is their poop changing colors?

And the question I asked the most often was

Why are they always crying?

Now that my twins are teens, in many ways I feel like a new mom again since raising teens is such a perplexing and confusing experience. Their behaviors are often hard for me to figure out. Like, why do they always feel the need to close the door? or why do they want to spend every waking moment with their friends?

My initial reaction when I’m feeling bewildered (which is often) is to grab my phone and Google it. And then I wonder, how did my mother raise me without an Internet connection?

Fortunately, parents do have the ability to easily find answers to their questions which will hopefully make parenting a teenager a little less daunting. As a former counselor for adolescents in a residential facility, I can answer some common questions asked by parents of teens and also provide links to articles for more information. Here are the top eight questions most Googled by parents of teenagers.

1. Why do teens do drugs?

During my time working with teens, there was a myriad of reasons why they choose to use drugs. It ranged from peer pressure to mental health issues (a form of self-medication).  Here is an article related to why some teens use drugs:

Suffering From Teen Drug Use: Why Do Teenagers Use Drugs?

https://yourteenmag.com/health/drugs-alcohol/ask-the-parenting-expert-the-whys-of-teen-drug-abuse

If you are concerned your teen is using drugs or alcohol this article discusses signs to look for and options to get treatment:

Signs of Alcohol Abuse and Drug Use in Teens: What To Look For

https://yourteenmag.com/health/drugs-alcohol/teenage-drug-alcohol-use

The best way to help prevent your teen from using drugs is to have open communication with them about drugs and how they are feeling in all areas of their life (friends, school, sports, etc.). Here is an article related to the importance of communication in preventing drug use:

Teen Risk-Taking: What Should Parents Worry About?

https://yourteenmag.com/health/drugs-alcohol/teen-risk-taking

2. Why do teens cut themselves?

Cutting yourself is a form of self-injury. When I worked in the residential treatment center, often teens cut themselves as a way to deal with their depression or other negative emotions. If you notice your teen is cutting themselves it is important to seek the help of a mental health professional so your teen can learn more appropriate coping mechanism for dealing with their emotions. Here are some related articles:

Teen Self Harm: How Can You Help A Teenager Who Injures Herself?

https://yourteenmag.com/health/teenager-mental-health/teen-self-harm

Dealing with Self-Injury: Understanding Risk And Helping Prevention

https://yourteenmag.com/health/teenager-mental-health/self-injury-professional-advice

Teenagers And Cutting: I Was A Teenage Cutter. How I Stopped Cutting

https://yourteenmag.com/health/teenager-mental-health/cutting

3. Why do teens drink?

Similar to using drugs, teens often drink alcohol because of peer pressure or as a form of self-medication. Alcohol is also more accessible and acceptable to use than illegal drugs. Some of the teens I worked with had parents or who either used or abused alcohol, making it easy for them to obtain it. Here some related articles:

The Age-Old Question: Why Do Teenagers Drink Alcohol?

https://yourteenmag.com/health/drugs-alcohol/underage-drinking

Can You Prevent Underage Drinking? Realistic Ways to Talk About Alcohol

https://yourteenmag.com/health/drugs-alcohol/real-talk-about-underage-drinking

Officer Pat Shares Facts About Teenage Drug And Alcohol Use

https://yourteenmag.com/health/drugs-alcohol/officer-george-willis-why-teens-use-drugs-and-alcohol

4. Why do teens smoke?

Despite laws regulating smoking in select public areas and the increased price of cigarettes, teens still smoke cigarettes. In over fifty percent of the US states the law regarding the age to purchase tobacco is 18 which makes it more accessible than alcohol. The most common reason teens begin smoking is that their friends or parents smoke. Once they start, smoking is highly addictive. Here some related articles:

Teens Using Tobacco: Dip, Cigarettes, Hookahs and More

https://yourteenmag.com/health/drugs-alcohol/using-tobacco-vaping-chewing-smoking

How Many Teenagers Smoke: Is Teen Smoking Still Popular?

https://yourteenmag.com/health/drugs-alcohol/teens-and-cigarettes

There’s No Foolproof Way of Raising Teens: Warning Signs of Trouble

https://yourteenmag.com/health/drugs-alcohol/teens-making-bad-choices

5. Why do teens vape?

Vaping is smoking using an e-cigarette. Even though the user does not inhale tobacco, they are still inhaling a vapor containing nicotine. Currently, there are not any state laws requiring proof of age to purchase e-cigarettes which means it is easily attainable for teens. Since e-cigarettes don’t contain tobacco, teens believe it is a healthy option than a cigarette. Here some related articles:

Teenagers Are Smoking E-Cigarettes: Should We Worry About Vaping?

https://yourteenmag.com/health/drugs-alcohol/ecigarettes-teens

Is Vaporizing Safer Than Smoking? Why Vaping Isn’t Healthy For Teens

https://yourteenmag.com/health/physical-health/is-vaporizing-safer-than-smoking

What is Juuling? The New Teen Vaping Device You May Not Recognize

https://yourteenmag.com/health/physical-health/what-is-juuling

6. Why do teens need more sleep?

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends that teens sleep for 8-10 hours per night. Sleep is necessary to aid in physical, intellectual and emotional growth. But a teen’s busy schedules including sports, homework and spending time with friends often means a later bedtime combined with an early start time (my kids are on the bus at 6:40 am). The end result is not getting enough sleep. Here some related articles:

How Much Sleep Do Teens Need? More Than They’re Getting

https://yourteenmag.com/health/physical-health/how-much-sleep-do-teens-need

Teens Not Getting Enough Sleep? Practical Sleep Advice for Parents

https://yourteenmag.com/health/physical-health/teens-sleep

Sleeping Teens: Helping Your Teen Get A Better Night’s Sleep

https://yourteenmag.com/health/physical-health/teen-sleep

7. Why do teens get acne?

The exact cause of acne is unknown but hormones, stress and genetic do contribute to developing it. Since teens experience an increase in hormones this may be why they develop it more than adults do. The best treatment for acne is using facial cleanser and if necessary seeing a dermatologist. Here some related articles:

Dealing with Acne: There’s No Need to Suffer Through Life with Pimples

https://yourteenmag.com/health/physical-health/teens-with-acne

Teenage Skin Problems: Acne, Skincare, and Sunscreen

https://yourteenmag.com/health/physical-health/ask-doctor-acne-skincare-sunscreen

From Acne Myths to Causes: Acne Advice From Pediatric Dermatologists

https://yourteenmag.com/health/physical-health/acne-advice-from-dermatologists

8. Why do teens die by suicide?

Suicide is a complex issue. Teens may commit suicide because they feel hopeless or pain due to depression. There are some incidents when teens felt bullied or experienced abuse that led to suicide. If you think your teen is having suicidal thoughts contact a mental health professional or call or text the National Suicide & Crisis Hotline by dialing 988. Here some related articles:

What Parents Need to Know About Preventing Teen Suicide

https://yourteenmag.com/health/teenager-mental-health/teen-suicide-prevention

Discussing Teen Suicide and Prevention: What Do Our Teens Think?

https://yourteenmag.com/health/teenager-mental-health/teen-suicide-and-prevention

About Teen Depression: What To Look For and How To Discuss Suicide

https://yourteenmag.com/health/teenager-mental-health/teen-suicide-prevention-professional-advice

This article was originally published on Your Teen.

Local Resources in Southwest Florida:

David Lawrence Centers for Behavioral Health

SalusCare Behavioral Health

Avow Kids (ages 5-17)

Covenant Counseling

Healthcare Network of SWFL

Al-Anon/Alateen

Mobile Crisis Response Team

Southwest Florida Resource Link by Healthcare Planning Council of SWFL

Youth Haven

Cheryl Maguire holds a Master of Counseling Psychology degree. She is married and the mother of twins and a daughter. Her writing has been published in Parents Magazine, Upworthy, Chicken Soup for the Soul: Count Your Blessings and Twins Magazine. You can find her at Twitter @CherylMaguire05

The post What Keeps You Up at Night? The Top Eight Question Parents Of Teens Google Most appeared first on SWFL Family.

Planning and scheduling

To make a regular date night at home a reality, a certain amount of planning and scheduling must take place. Placing a date night on everyone’s calendar and making it official is essential to any date night’s success, and an at home date night is no difference. Plan it, schedule it, and look forward to it. Write it down, and be specific about the time of day you’re going to begin the date night at home. Creating some excitement about an out-of-the-ordinary evening (or morning or afternoon) allows both partners to anticipate the date night and think about it ahead of time.

Investing in a space with the intention of creating a permanent date night spot can set the tone for weekly connections. “We bought a fire pot for our front yard, and we’ll go out there at night to talk and have a drink,” said Kristen Potter, a North Naples mom of 4.

Depending upon napping schedules, an early afternoon date may be advisable. At the end of the day, many parents are spent, and the idea of a special evening at home seems out of reach. Enter the naptime date. Favorite snacks and an afternoon beer around the dining room table may be the most attainable date situation.

Unconventional Babysitting

To get time alone with your spouse, think beyond the bounds of a conventional babysitting situation. Paying for a few hours of childcare ratchets up the date night’s expense. It makes a regular date night inadvisable financially for the majority of couples, relegating that essential activity to evenings that require attendance (special events, work parties, and weddings).

However, date nights needn’t take place just a few times a year. Special evenings and romantic connection can become a marital pattern if we put forth the effort and think creatively.

• • Share the load with another couple. This seems to work best for families within the same neighborhood. Dropping off children to another family for a couple hours on a Saturday or Sunday late afternoon allows for a free-of-charge, kid-free date.

• • Exhaust your list of family members. Many of your family members adore the opportunity for connection with your children – on their terms. Take what they’re willing to give, even if it’s just an hour at their home so you and your spouse can grab coffee together.

• • Utilize middle schoolers. Know any neighbors with middle school-aged children who are interested in gaining some experience? See if you might drop your children off to that family’s home. This has worked so well for us. A friend’s daughter watches my daughter on Sunday evenings for two hours at her own home. The parents are there only if necessary, and it gives my husband and me the chance to go to a quick happy hour and talk before the week begins. The rate we pay reflects her age and experience level, and it makes a couple hours of babysitting on a regular basis attainable financially.

• • Take opportunities for mother’s helper situations. Again, paying a mother’s helper is often $5 an hour, at the most. Schedule a mother’s helper for a time when you and your spouse are both at home, and retreat to a secluded area of your house or yard to talk. Plan the food, drinks, and snacks and invest in one another. We paid a 10-year-old in our neighborhood $5 an hour to watch our daughter in our local park while my husband and I played tennis. It was glorious – we had so much fun hanging out together!

• • Use the screens to your advantage. If there’s any time to use the screen, it’s a date night in. Rent a movie your kids will love, and get them set up in one of their bedrooms. “We put our kids in the master bedroom for date nights in. We’ve even had other couples over for dinner while our kids are upstairs in our room. They have access to us, but they know that it’s our time – it’s our date,” explained Jenna Berry, a Naples mom of three.

Fancy Food for Less

It’s better to be a producer than a consumer. Making delicious, out of the ordinary food doesn’t have to involve expensive, hard-to-find

ingredients or a culinary course. Online tutorials and cajillions of recipes are at our fingertips. I find it’s best to pick one item to make – overdoing a date night in usually creates unnecessary stress over cooking and dirty dishes. Here are a few of our favorite date night foods:

• • Charcuterie boards. There are so many ideas for creating yummy boards online. You don’t need that many items: one or two fancy cheeses, crackers, sliced veggies, and a sliced meat.

• • Hot appetizers. Think pub food – stuffed mushrooms, oven-fried zucchini spears dipped in marinara, flatbread, or baked frozen onion rings with chipotle ranch, to name a few. Make one and buy one. A platter of these foods to share makes any evening feel fun and indulgent.

• • Dessert flights. Create an ice cream sampler to share or purchase a small dessert or two from a local bakery.

• • Take out. Ordering take out can be affordable, especially when compared to going to a sit-down restaurant combined with paying for a babysitter. To lower the cost of take-out for a date night in, make your children frozen food, avoid delivery charges, and consider lower-cost grab and go from local markets or walk-up places. Keep your expectations in check – remember to place the emphasis on the connection with your spouse and the situation itself. I’ll eat just about anything if it means I don’t have to cook or do dishes.

• • Drinks. Create a signature drink to accompany your date night at home. Purchasing a bottle of something new can make an ordinary night feel so special – plus you can use it for future nights in. To take another tack, consider patronizing a local brewery for a growler.

Intentional Connection

When we consider our relationships with our spouses, I think most of us understand the value of creating connection on a regular basis. During the shutdowns earlier in the year, many of us recognized how essential it was to invest in our most important relationship. In the midst of intense external stressors, we had to get creative. That need for investment, creativity, and connection remains. It’s vital to the health of our marriages. How can we continue to connect more fully and with greater intention, even as many of these external stressors remain almost a year later?

• • Connection. There are a million idea online of ways to go about promoting connection. Laughing together and creating memorable moments takes a bit of planning, but it pays dividends. “We have a weekly family meeting on Sunday nights to go over scheduling and expectations for the week,” said Katie Walker, a Naples mom of 3 boys. “After our meeting, Shane and I will take on a time together for ourselves and take a golf cart ride or sit beside the pool to talk about our week. It’s nothing official, but It’s helped us connect on a regular basis.”

• • Forgiveness. Ruth Bell Graham once said that a healthy marriage was a union of two good forgivers. We’re all broken, we’re all longing for something, and we all hurt each other on a regular basis. Offering forgiveness freely for the little offenses creates a positive environment. Refuse to keep score over the tiny things that add up so quickly. It’ll make date nights way better!

• • Games, activities and hobbies. Playing games or pursuing shared interests allows for connection,  and for memorable, exciting moments to take place with your spouse. Am I suggesting my husband learn to knit to spend more time with me and connect more fully? Of course not! Do I have to fiberglass a skiff so we can build a boat together? Or tie flies at the kitchen table? Nope, not a chance. However, my willingness to go fishing in Rookery Bay or his willingness to run a few miles in our neighborhood with me contributes significantly to the health of our relationship. Julia Straub, a Naples mom of 4, explained that she and her spouse put their children to bed by 7:30 p.m. and will sometimes save their own dinner to eat together. “My love language is quality time, and he loves watching college basketball. So, we sit and eat together and spend time with each other – it’s definitely a highlight.”

The post Rethinking Date Night When You Have Kids appeared first on SWFL Family.

How did growing up in a military family shape your childhood? Moving so much as a child was difficult, but it provides two choices for you: Embrace it and put yourself out there, or retreat. Having to deal with constant change prepared me well as an adult to be comfortable in just about any situation.  

Why did you decide to leave Chicago? Chicago is such a great city, and we were set to become city parents, but the call to come back to Naples was strong and the right decision. It gave our kids the opportunity to have their grandparents in their lives which was not something I had. My father died in 2015 after dealing with Parkinson’s for many years. We buried him at Arlington, which was a very moving experience. My in-laws are wonderful and still very active. We see them almost weekly and they are involved in Olivia and Owen’s lives, which means so much. 

Tell us about a typical weeknight in your home. Like many families, there is rarely a typical night because of baseball, marching band, a work event, etc. We try to sit down for a dinner together a few nights a week, and we value that time. When we get home we all go our separate ways to enjoy whatever it is we like to do. Owen loves to fish so he might be down the street at the boat dock. Olivia might be reading or painting in her room. Emily has been going to a boxing class for the last few months, and I like to walk. We reconvene for dinner, and then it’s homework, etc. Just knowing we are all in the same house and happy and healthy is comforting.

What does your family like to do together? We like to travel, and that could be just getting out of town for day or a longer trip. We might drive to Sanibel for lunch or Arcadia to shop the antique stores on Oak Street. Our best trips have been to Europe. We spent Christmas with family in Germany a few years ago. Then we went to England for some time in London and Hereford with friends. Germany at Christmas is almost indescribably beautiful. Some of our best times have been spent in Chicago and Michigan. We have taken the kids back to Chicago so many times they have become very familiar with the city and comfortable there. We try to get to Kalamazoo once a year, if not more. Especially in the fall. Emily is from there, and it’s a great city. I was fortunate to be able to travel extensively as a child, and we are fortunate now to be able to do the same with our children. For our children, we want them to see and truly understand that the color of your skin, the language you speak, who you choose to love, or what you believe are secondary characteristics to the one singular thing we all share, which is our humanity. 

How did you become a volunteer with Collier County Public Schools? I got involved with the School Advisory Council (SAC) at Sea Gate Elementary School when our daughter was in third grade and served for five years. SAC deals with issues directly related to how the school functions. I was just elected for my second three-year term at Pine Ridge where I am SAC Chair. The upcoming school year will be my third on SAC at Barron where I am vice-chair. I get to work with involved parents and great staff and teachers whose only goal is providing the highest quality education to our kids.

Other community service? I have difficulty saying no, which has led to so many great community service opportunities. I have to say that my SAC involvement is the most rewarding.

Tell us about your role at Salvation Army. I was doing a lot of nonprofit volunteer work and started realizing I enjoyed that more than my day job. One night in June 2015, I told my wife I needed to go to the ER because I had chest pains. It turned out to be stress related, but lying in the cardiac unit at NCH at 4 a.m. thinking about my life was the last sign I needed that a change was necessary. I have a great staff, work with compassionate, dedicated people, and have yet to have a day I didn’t want to come to work. That’s not something I could say about my old career. 

What would surprise us about the Salvation Army? I would say it’s the amount of services we provide. Locally, we have a great STEAM-focused after-school program at the Fran Cohen Youth Center with about 150 elementary and middle school kids attending daily. We also have a Child Development Center that serves about 70 children. The goal is to make sure 100% of the kids who leave the program are kindergarten ready. Our social services department serves approximately 300 indi-viduals monthly with food, rental, and energy assistance. We run the Toys for Tots program for Collier, so Christmas is big for us. Last year we provided food and toys for 2,600 families. In the eight weeks after Hurricane Irma, our field kitchen prepared 77,000 meals, and through our Disaster Assistance Center we are still helping families recover and rebuild. We have a very active program for seniors. They come to our campus twice a month for lunch and either an activity or speaker. These are seniors who are very economically challenged so getting out for a meal or social event may not be possible without us. Everyone deserves compassion. Our focus in Collier County is primarily on children, but the Salvation Army also operates many adult rehabilitation centers as well as medical and mental health clinics. We also are very active in addressing human trafficking. We have great programs such as Bridges Out of Poverty and Pathway of Hope, which are case management driven and offer participants the knowledge and skills needed to break what are often generational cycles of poverty.

What do you love about your current role there? I love everything about my job – the people I work with and those we help. The impact we make can be life changing and life saving sometimes. I am proud of everything we do, but one thing in particular comes to mind. The Latchkey League, which was started by Myra Daniels, supports our youth programs. They wanted to enlarge the book nook in the new youth center. I sent out a call for book donations, and within about three weeks had collected about a thousand books. Since I started the book nook last fall we have given out about 400 books.

What is your best parenting advice? Read All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kinder-garten by Robert Fulghum. Share. Play fair. Be nice. Say you’re sorry. Live a balanced life. Look. Listen. Feel. The list goes on. Literally every sentence in this book has meaning to me.Also, knowing when, and how, to step back from your children and let them be. Our instinct is to protect them, and it can be powerful and overwhelming to them and us. We will be there for them in whatever capacity they need us, but sometimes they need to walk the path they choose on their own.

What was your favorite Father’s Day gift? The best is a small pot they made in 2006. It has their handprints on it. Olivia was 3 and Owen was not quite 1. I look at it and remember what it was like holding those little hands and being so happy and terrified at the same time. The feeling of that little hand reaching up for yours and the intensity of the love you felt for them.

What are your plans for Father’s Day? Beer and pizza would be good. That’s the last day of a four game series with the Dodgers, so a Cubs sweep would be nice, too.

The post MoMENtum Dad: Martin de St. Pierre appeared first on SWFL Family.

ADD, also known as Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (AD/HD), affects between three and five percent of the population. However, adult ADD, especially as it appears in women, often goes unrecognized.

Characteristics of ADD in women

The symptoms of ADD are many. Some symptoms that are commonly seen in women are the opposite of the more recognized symptoms, making detection unlikely and diagnosis difficult. Each person’s experience with ADD is unique.

Women and ADD

While there are a multitude of characteristics, most women with the disorder don’t have every symptom. Instead, each woman has a mixture of symptoms severe enough to impair some areas of life.

Disorganization is common and often a serious problem for women struggling with ADD. They may be unable to organize their homes, offices, or lives. To outsiders, the disorganization isn’t always visible. That’s because women who lead professional lives may have assistants, secretaries, and cleaning services to assist them. Some ADD women have a partner who compensates for their organizational dysfunction as well.

Other women with ADD find clutter and disorganization an incredible distraction. These distractions, coupled with the responsibilities of everyday life, lead to mental disorganization. The dis- organized brain struggles to store, weed out, and organize in a logical fashion. For these women, being tidy and organized equals survival.

Women with ADD can be at either end of the spectrum, either hyperactive or hypoactive (underactive). Hyperactive women may go at full speed until they crash from the overload.

Family life can also suffer with a hyperactive mother. She may be unable to sit and play games or read to her children unless she finds the activities stimulating.

Many women with ADD are at the other extreme. They’re hypoactive, unable to muster the energy to do much of anything. These women are often unable to keep up with life’s many demands. Maintaining a home, participating in family activities, staying in touch with friends, and even holding down a job can be major challenges.

The problem is women with ADD struggle with the inability to regulate attention. So it doesn’t mean they can never maintain attention. Rather, the ability to focus for most with ADD is based on interest and whether the activity is stimulating. Many women daydreamed through school when they were younger. Yet the subjects or activities they found fun, interesting, or exciting didn’t pose such a problem. Adult life for these women is often the same.

Hyperfocusing also poses problems and can coexist with symptoms of inattention. A woman may over-focus on that which interests her and be unable to shift her attention.

Women with ADD may be impatient. Standing in lines, sitting in waiting rooms, and being placed on hold for lengthy waits drives some women to the brink.

Also, for some, having ADD is like being on an emotional roller coaster. A woman can become overly excited by anything positive then swing to the opposite extreme over slight problems, disappointments, or perceived criticism or rejection.

Misdiagnosis

Studies show the incidence of ADD in men and women is nearly identical, says Kathleen Nadeau, Ph.D., co-author of Understanding Women with AD/HD. There are several common reasons women with ADD often don’t receive the diagnosis.

Doctors often diagnose the depression that accompanies ADD, but miss the ADD itself. Women, more often than men, have coexisting anxiety and depression which must be treated as well.

Also, women who are more hyperactive, hyper-talkative, and impulsive are sometimes misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Many doctors still look for signs of ADD more typical of boys, and also fail to understand that ADD symptoms in females often don’t appear until puberty or later because of hormonal fluctuations. When girls enter puberty, during PMS, and as estrogen levels drop in perimenopause and menopause, the symptoms of ADD often worsen.

In addition, girls tend to try harder in school, so their ADD patterns are often masked or overlooked by teachers.

Treatment options

Several treatments are available for ADD. The most effective is prescription medication. There’s a multitude of stimulant and non-stimulant medications available for treatment.

Behavioral therapy is also beneficial both for coming to terms with the lifelong disorder and to relieve negative coping behaviors. Coaching is also used for learning new skills and strategies for structuring life. Because ADD is neurobiological, therapy and coaching work best in conjunction with medication.

Several ineffective treatments are being marketed as well. Treatments that are suspect, according to Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD), include dietary plans such as the Feingold diet, vitamin and mineral supplements, anti-motion sickness medication, Candida yeast, EEG biofeedback, applied kinesiology also known as Neural Organization Technique, and optometric vision training, to name a few. Often, excessive claims are made about these treatments, citing a few favorable responses or studies that don’t hold up to scrutiny.

Where to go for help

An accurate diagnosis and appropriate treatment is essential. Finding a qualified provider isn’t always easy because adult ADD, especially as it affects women, isn’t always recognized. Before seeking a diagnosis, read books about ADD in adults for a better understanding of the disorder and the diagnosis and treatment process. Also, compile a list of questions to ask your provider to ensure he has a clear understanding of the disorder and appropriate treatments. If you don’t feel comfortable with a physician’s responses, seek help elsewhere.

Symptoms of ADD – Some of the symptoms commonly seen in women, partially taken from Attention Deficit Disorder in Adults by Dr. Lynn Weiss, are as follows:

• Difficulty completing tasks or following through on plans
• Difficulty shifting attention
• Excessively shifting from one activity to another
• Difficulty concentrating on reading
• Impatience
• Frequent preoccupation in thoughts and not hearing when spoken to
• Difficulty sitting still or excessive fidgeting
• Sudden and unexpected mood swings
• Interrupting in conversations, speaking without considering consequences
• Hot tempered
• Need for high stimulus
• Forgetfulness
• Low tolerance for frustration
• Tendency toward substance abuse

The post Could you Have Adult ADHD? appeared first on SWFL Family.

But Cyndee doesn’t stop there. Most notably, she recently started The League of Courageous Women, a nonprofit organization dedicated to encouraging young women in middle school, high school, and beyond to dream big dreams, set high goals, and actively pursue leadership opportunities.

Cyndee is a mom to an 11-year-old daughter, Bridget, an aspiring dancer who loves to travel and excels in school. She and her daughter spend lots of time together; I especially enjoyed hearing Cyndee’s perspective on family time, motherhood, and the idea of balance.

College? I was born and raised in Naples. I got my associate’s degree from what used to be Edison Community College (now Florida SouthWestern State College). I went on to University of West Florida, where I received my bachelor’s degree in management and marketing. I decided to gain some work experience before pursuing a master’s degree. I am currently working towards a master’s in business administration from Hodges University.

Career Path? I have always wanted to be a small business owner. Before starting a business, I knew I needed experience in different sectors. I’ve been involved in sales and marketing since 2000 in various capacities: hospitality, construction, public relations, and communications. Throughout my career, my real passion has been the ability to share someone’s story as a way to compel others to get engaged in the community and take action. I love to hone in – to share others’ stories. I built my business (C2 Communications) as a way to pursue this passion.

Tell us about your book. I wrote Building Brand You in a time when social media was just emerging and the economy was flailing. It’s a tool book designed to help business owners answer the question “How do I market myself?”

What motivates you in your career? C2 Communications is nine years old, and it has been so rewarding on a professional level for me. I’m really interested in making the community a better place for my daughter, especially as I see her grow and change. And as a single mom, the business has allowed me to create a better life for us.

Tell us about your daughter. Bridget is 11 years old, going on 30. She’s smart and compassionate. She’s an aspiring dancer. Bridget sets really big goals for herself, and she puts her heart and soul into achieving these goals. Nothing can deter her when she sets her mind on something. Bridget attends Gulfview Middle School.

What has been your greatest accomplishment? There’s a group of my daughter’s friends I’ve been able to inspire. I’ve connected with them, and I’ve been able to connect them with other leaders in the community. Inspiring the next generation of women leaders has given me a lot of hope. I’ve loved being a part of shaping this group of girls as they set big goals.

What has been your biggest regret? I had the opportunity to backpack across Europe after I graduated from college. I should have taken that opportunity to travel before I had to start making payments on my student loans. I wish I had traveled before becoming a mom – before work.

Tell us about your volunteer positions and community involvement. I’m a member of the Northside Naples Kiwanis Club, and am on the board of Keep Collier Beautiful, a nonprofit dedicated to improving waste handling practices in Collier County. I’m also heavily involved with the Leadership Collier Foundation and a member of the Public Relations Society of America. In addition, I’m executive director of the Farm City BBQ of Collier County. I’ve been on the Farm City BBQ committee for 16 years, but formally took over the organization around 10 years ago and filed for nonprofit status in 2011. We’ve donated about half-a-million dollars back into youth leadership programs.

What’s next for you? Research shows that about 44% of girls in 4th and 5th grade desire to be a leader. In middle school, there is a point at which that number drops dramatically. About 36% of girls in 6th grade want to be leaders. Within a relatively short period of time, they are losing momentum to be engaged as leaders in their schools and within their family units. A new non-profit organization I’ve started seeks to raise up the next generation of women leaders. The League of Courageous Women is dedicated to inspiring young women to make bigger goals. Through various events and programs, we are connecting middle school, high school, and adult women with one another to inspire future leaders.

Our goal is to raise awareness about the need for cultivating women leaders and elevate the conversation about women in leadership. On September 29, we are hosting a Leadership Summit; we’re partnering with various agencies and organizations, including Hodges University, to present topics related to women in leadership. We’re planning to continue hosting networking events, connecting women of various ages. Additionally, we are planning to add on a formalized mentorship program and implement a “Courageous Cash Kickstarter Program.” The fund will support girls who have ideas on ways to improve their schools and home.

How do you balance motherhood, your career, and your burgeoning nonprofit? I don’t think balance is the answer. I think presence is the answer. We get off-balance when we’re at home, and all we’re thinking about is being at work. Or when we’re at work, and all we think about is being at home. True fulfillment and balance happen when we shut our phones off, talk with one another, and genuinely listen.

Best parenting advice you’ve ever received and from whom? When I was starting my business, I was crazed and stressed. I worked long hours, and I stayed up so late. Sometimes, I would drive home and tell my daughter, “Mommy’s computer is at the office tonight,” or “Mommy shut her phone off for the day.” I would see her face light up with excitement. I remember my grandmother telling me that her biggest regret is that she spent too much time cleaning and not enough time playing when her kids were little. I really internalized that. I want to be the example of that for my daughter. And now that she’s 11 and has her own phone, she says to me quite often, “I’m shutting my phone off to be with you.”

What does a typical weeknight look like for you? Every night is different; our schedule is a mix of ballet, board meetings, and many other activities. However, I believe in making time for family meals. We always sit down to dinner together. I also make breakfast every morning before school.

What do you do for fun on the weekends? My daughter is very active in ballet, and so I often do pilates on the weekends at her dance studio. We enjoy walking the Gordon River Greenway. My daughter and I enjoy traveling to explore various places and go to concerts – it’s something meaningful we pursue together.

What do you love about Naples? I love that we have a quieter pace of life here. We have the ability to slow down and enjoy each other. We have great schools, and it’s safe to send our kids to school here. Naples is a great place to have a family and spend quality time with your family. I love visiting Miami, New York City, and Los Angeles, but I come back to Naples because it’s a great quality of life for my daughter.

Click here to find a copy of Building Brand You by Cyndee Woolley.

The post MOMentum Moms: Cyndee Woolley appeared first on SWFL Family.

Sterling, clearly an animal lover, has lived and cared for animals in the Naples area her entire life. Her parents hail from Connecticut but, searching for a warmer climate, drove as far south as they could. Born in Lee Memorial hospital in 1978, Sterling is a proud product of Collier County Public Schools. Her sister Monet, also of Naples, chaperoned Sterling’s first date at the tender age of 16 with her high school sweetheart (now husband), Scott. She met him when she was 14 but was too young to date, so she claims he endured endless board games with her family. Fast forward to 2017, and with 14 years experience as a veterinarian under her belt, she decided to take on the challenge of opening her own practice, Naples Coastal Animal Hospital, located at 956 2nd Avenue North.

Tell me about your decision to open your new business. After completing my undergraduate degree at the University of Florida in three years, I graduated from [UF] vet school with a degree in Animal Sciences. I worked for a newly opened animal hospital in the area for two years, and then for 11 years at another wonderful local animal hospital. I always knew I wanted to work on domestic animals and be part of the family atmosphere of Naples, and even raise my own family here.

I have always wanted to provide more personalized medicine and care, allowing more time for my clients, and even home visits. Down the line, we plan to provide concierge care, which would allow clients access to my cell phone, after-hours visits, and in time-sensitive cases [I would] meet clients at the emergency hospital and act as a liaison and facilitate for them. We currently don’t have these types of services in animal medicine here. Also, we will provide specialized individual needs regarding vaccinations or titers (blood test to gauge the level of vaccine still in an animal’s body). This is extremely personalized medicine.

What was your family’s take on your decision to open your own business? My entire family was extremely supportive. The kids even drew pictures that they brought to school of what the new practice would look like! In January 2017, I started the process. I met the wonderful ladies at Wholesome Hound and became aware that there was space available next door on 2nd Street North. I went to the city council for lengthy discussions, received approval (they voted unanimously for me as they, too, saw the need), and now the mayor brings his pet to me. He even cut the ribbon on our opening day.

How do you balance being a mom with your professional and charitable obligations? I really just try to live in the moment. My mom always nudges me to take time now to ensure that I’m a part of my kids’ lives when they are older. I want them to know that I always have time for them. I am lucky because I’m able to have my husband and family join me in my charitable endeavors so they can experience giving back, which is a great lesson for the kids. We participate in the local “Bark For Life” event, which is supported by the American Cancer Society and raises money and awareness for pets with cancer. I also work with local rescue groups on difficult situations they encounter. We recently fostered four puppies whose mother could no longer care for them as her milk had dried up. We received a call and immediately took on all their vet care, bottle feeding them day and night and house training them until we could adopt them out to good homes. We were really happy as they probably would not have survived without our care. I strongly believe in giving back to the local public schools, so I frequently support school and PTO fundraisers and offer a “Vet for the Day” raffle prize, which allows the winning child to shadow me all day, seeing patients and even viewing x-rays and surgery. I also go into many public schools in the area to talk about age-appropriate topics like pet handling and medical issues. I really love to be able to do this.

What is a typical week night like for your family? We are constantly running from one extracurricular activity to another! My kids love swim, book club, drama, and Mathletes. On a rare quiet night at home, we all get into our PJs and eat pizza, play games, and watch a movie. My husband is a great cook so he loves to get us all around the table for family meals and to recap our day.

Do you have any favorite local spots you like to go as a family? We love Brooks Burgers! The kids love the Popsicles they give out after dinner. And Peace, Love and Little Donuts is a favorite. Every morning my son Vanden begs to go there for breakfast. We also love to hang out at Cambier Park every Sunday to regroup with family, relax, enjoy church in the park, as well as taking the dogs and kids biking on the Gordon River Greenway.

What’s the best parenting advice you’ve received? Bob Marino, my best friend’s dad, always says to divide your responsibilities into four quarters: urgent and important, urgent and not important, not urgent but important, not urgent and not important. Prioritize your day based on that formula. I try to do this.

Best and worst part of your kid’s current ages? With Catalina (11) and Vanden (9) being so close in age, often they are in the same clubs as they have similar interests, so that can create clashes between them. They love being together but, as all siblings do, they also need time apart. Also, I sometimes find it sad that they don’t need me as much as they did when they were little. But on the flip side, we now have great conversations. They want to learn so much, about everything! And when we don’t know the answers, we say to them “Oh, that’s a great thing for YOU to research.”

Your proudest moments as a mother?

When they show kindness. They’ve both been recognized for it at school, which makes me so happy. Recently, Catalina asked to sit next to an ESL [English as a Second Language] student displaced by the hurricane to help her adjust to a new environment, and now they are really good friends.

What are your hopes and goals for 2018? Once things are fully up and running at the practice, I want to get out into the community even more to hold educational talks on pet care or on specific topics like wildlife hazards to pets. I want the practice to be a place we hold drop-in sessions and a place that all pet owners in the community feel comfortable visiting. People are already loving it as much as we are, and we want to see that continue.

The post MOMentum Moms: Sterling Sigmond appeared first on SWFL Family.

Trimming your baby budget

Diapers. To save on diapers, consider switching to cloth. Modern cloth diapers are easy to use and come in cute designs. The initial cost is typically $10-$20 per diaper, but they can be reused for years. If cloth diapers aren’t for your family, there are still ways to save money on disposable diapers. Check manufacturer websites for high dollar coupons and combine with store sales. Generic diapers are another great way to save and they typically are comparable to name brand.

Formula. Breastfeeding is not always an option for families for a variety of reasons and formula is pricey. Coupons and rebates are readily available from the manufacturer. Go to the manufacturer’s website and sign up for additional coupons and have friends and family do the same. You can also ask your obstetrician and pediatrician for free formula samples.

Baby gear. Car seat, stroller, high chair, bouncer, swing, and more. There sure is a lot of gear for someone so small and it seems each item costs $100, often more. It’s wise to buy a new car seat that meets current safety standards but all the other items can be purchased gently used and later sold again when your family no longer needs them.

Baby clothes. Babies grow fast, so it doesn’t make sense to spend a lot on several cute baby outfits when your child outgrows them only a few weeks later. Consider buying gently used clothing and/or asking friends for hand me downs. If you want new items, buy less than you think you will need because they are used for only a short time.

Child care. To save money on child care, you have to get creative. Ideas include having a family or friend watch the baby at a lower rate, trading babysitting with another family, or alternating shifts with your partner to reduce time in child care. Some companies offer flexible spending plans to pay for child care with pre-tax money.

Trimming other areas

Wardrobe. The key to saving money on adult clothing is to shop for versatile pieces that can be worn many different ways. A solid color top can be worn with jeans, slacks, or a skirt and paired with a scarf, necklace, or jacket, or worn alone for a variety of looks. Once you have your key pieces, only buy clothing when you really need it.

Food. There are several ways to cut costs in this area. Purchasing groceries with coupons, on sale, or generic brands can save money. Also, consider making items from scratch and eating out less to help trim your food budget. A quick Google search will provide you with several $5 meals ideas.

Entertainment. Just because a new baby is in the house doesn’t mean that you have to stop enjoying entertainment, but you might need to approach a night out in a new way. You do not have to go without movies, concerts, or area attractions, but you should check deal sites to see if there are any options available to you. This will require planning ahead to make sure it fits into the budget and that you have child care covered, if necessary. Also consider if items like cable or streaming subscriptions are necessary. Choose to pay for the entertainment you use and enjoy.

Reduce. Our homes are filled with items we rarely use. Consider selling these items to put extra cash in your hand that can be used for all those new baby expenses. Have a garage sale, utilize consignment sales, or sell items in online marketplaces.

Trim expenses. Look at the family budget and evaluate where you can easily trim expenses. Do you belong to a gym, have club memberships, subscriptions, or other monthly bills that you do not use enough to justify the expense? Discuss with your partner whether some of these items can be cut to free up the money for other expenses.

DIY. A simple way to save money is to do things yourself. Cleaning and lawn services are nice but expensive. Taking care of it yourself is free. Try it yourself first and save the money you would have spent on labor.

Bringing home a new baby is an adjustment in many ways and financial priorities may have shifted in your family. In time, you will adjust to your new lifestyle and budget and you will feel comfortable with budgeting after baby.

SARAH LYONS is a stay-at-home mom of six children, including two-year-old triplets. She has learned to cut costs and save money in a variety of ways over the years as they added to their family.

The post Budgeting After Baby appeared first on SWFL Family.

Keep your focus

There are many reasons a mom will be put on bed rest, but most often, it is because of the risk of pre-term labor. Focus on the goal, which is allowing baby to grow as long as possible. Reminding yourself of this will help keep you going each day.

Keep a record

Many moms find that writing in a journal or starting a blog is therapeutic. Record your thoughts and feelings about pregnancy, as well as what is going on that day. Take pictures to document the pregnancy. After the birth, you will have a record to look back on.

Keep entertained

Many hospitals are equipped with free wi-fi for patients to use. This comes in extra handy while on bed rest. Catch up on your TV shows, read books or magazines, watch movies, do some Internet shopping, play games on your phone or tablet, scroll through Facebook or Pinterest, and research the best car seat for baby. Utilize any form of entertainment to pass the time.

Keep resting

The adage: “Enjoy sleeping now because when baby comes you will wish you could sleep more.” is very hard for most moms to hear when they are forced into bed rest. However, it is a common saying because it is true. Rest is best for baby and mom. Try to make the most of it while you can.

Keep comfortable

Create a comfortable space wherever you are resting. At home, keep snacks, water, books, and other items close at hand so you don’t have to be up and about during the day. Bring comforts from home to the hospital. Items like blankets and pillows, pictures of family, and any favorites that make you feel more comfortable will ease the time you spend at the hospital.

Keep busy

This is the time to catch up on the things you never have time to do. Try beauty maintenance such as painting your fingernails or plucking your eyebrows. Teach yourself a new skill like knitting or crocheting using free tutorial videos online. Finish the thank you cards from your baby shower. Anything to pass the time.

Keep a routine

Wake up at approximately the same time daily, shower, get dressed, eat meals at the same times, and do basically the same activities each day. Keeping a simple daily routine will help time pass and help create a sense of normalcy. If you are working, get a laptop and keep up with your work from your home or the hospital bed.

Keep a positive perspective

It is hard not to get down when you see the same four walls day in and day out, sometimes for weeks on end. Keep telling yourself “You can do it!”. Take each day as it comes and keep pushing yourself toward your goal. Remind yourself this is temporary and will be worth it in the end. Someday this will all be a distant memory.

Keep a support system

A strong support system is key to surviving bed rest. Encourage friends and family to visit as much as possible. Having people around to talk to does wonders to raise spirits for a mom on bed rest. If family and friends offer to help by bringing meals, caring for older children, or doing housework, accept the help.

The main thing to remember while on bed rest is that it will end. Each day the baby stays in utero is less time baby will spend in the NICU. Take one day at a time and try to remain positive. Soon enough, you will be holding your baby in your arms.

How to Survive Hospital Bed Rest

Hospital bed rest is a totally different experience than resting at home. The four walls of a hospital room can feel like a prison after looking at them for days and weeks on end. Here are some ways to survive hospital bed rest.

Sleep. Often, it’s hard to get a good night’s sleep in the hospital. Taking naps throughout the day is healthy for mom and baby and passes the time.

Accept visitors. If someone offers to visit, accept their offer. It’s always nice to have someone new to talk to.

Comforts. Bring as many comforts from home as you can. Having a favorite pillow or photos of loved ones can do a lot to encourage you.

Go for a ride. Ask if you are allowed to go for a ride in a wheelchair. A change of scenery, even for a few minutes, can make a big difference.

Throw a party. Ask friends or family to bring dinner to you. Watch a movie together or just chat. Make it a weekly event so you have something to look forward to.

One day at a time. It’s easy to get overwhelmed when the days are long and boring. Try to take one day at a time and remain positive. Each day that passes is allowing baby to grow bigger and stronger.

SARAH LYONS survived five weeks on bed rest prior to the birth of her triplets in 2014.

The post Surviving Bed Rest appeared first on SWFL Family.

In the decade since I first met Cindy Dreyfuss, I have volunteered alongside her at our children’s schools and watched her take on each task with enthusiasm and feisty perseverance. The one thing that always impresses me most (besides her education and career accomplishments) is how she makes sure to tell everyone on her team what she admires most about them. Whether on the water or at school, when things are not smooth sailing, Cindy approaches life with an “all hands on deck” attitude.

College? I attended the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy at Kings Point, N.Y. With military obligations to the country, my education instilled a sense of service to a greater good.

Past careers? I was formally trained as a Merchant Mariner and sailed as a Navigation and Cargo Officer on ocean-going super tankers. I was the Executive Director of the U.S. Sailing Center in Miami, and was part of the leadership team that achieved the designation as an official U.S. Olympic Training Facility. When we moved to Naples, I was a buyer for Shaw Aero Devices, a local aerospace parts and manufacturing company.

Tell us about your husband and how you met. Peter is a mechanical engineer and is currently Director of Engineering for the Shoulder and Upper Extremity Team at Arthrex. We met at the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy – now married 21 years, but with nearly 30 years of friendship behind us!

Volunteer positions once you became a stay-at-home mom: Locally, it started when our kids were young helping deliver Meals on Wheels with them each week for a few years. Then, as they grew, the activities were focused on where we were: on the sports fields and in the schools. My favorite saying is, “find a need, fill a need”. I was volunteer treasurer and then president of Gulf Coast Little League for six years. I also volunteered as an Optimist soccer coach. For several years, I taught Catechism at St. Ann Catholic Church. I then became involved in each school my children attended.

What do you love about your roles in PTO? Leading in a formal role was not necessarily my intent. However, I have a pretty strong personality and a firm belief that no complaint should be shared without a willingness to offer and be a part of a solution. My fellow volunteers are AMAZING and make my life a whole lot better for knowing and working with them. I love to see the success that can result from that “little bit of extra support”.

Favorite PTO accomplishment? I think it would be leaving a legacy of giving and encouraging others to give, even if only 2-3 hours for an event once a year, or 1 hour a week to the community in which our children are growing up.

Talk about how you educate Title 1 PTOs on how to raise money. This is an ongoing process. I hope to “teach the schools how to fish,” in a manner of speaking. By sharing good practices that are cost saving and practical based on needs, it starts to encourage more enthusiasm and creativity. It started with a “sister school program” (schools partnering for needed uniform clothing) and expanded to shared volunteer resources and knowledge, sharing excess bounty of uniforms (new and gently used), and adopting causes to support each other.

Compare sailing a ship to being PTO president. It’s a bit of crisis management. When things are going well, there are no worries. Then comes an event (a hurricane or bad weather) and it’s all hands on deck. Getting and motivating the workers or volunteers is about the same – except for the whole “threat of death” thing.

What are your plans when your kids have grown and flown? I would love to go back to work, officially. I still feel that love of learning new things. An opportunity to put my community knowledge to work as a county commissioner would be a future consideration.

How do you balance being a mom with your professional and volunteer obligations? Admittedly, not well. When I do something, I am all in. When they were younger, it was kids 24/7. I have learned that as I age, now approaching 50, I operate best with a restful night of sleep. When they were young, they would tag along to activities. As adolescents, they were expected to manage themselves (make their own lunches, wait for a ride until I was done, and make meals on their own). Haven’t been able to relieve myself of all of the laundry duties yet, but since the washer works through the night, I will let that pass.

What is a typical week night like for your family? We try to eat meals together when all of our schedules allow, whether at home or out. Mornings are up starting at 5:15 a.m. and things never really stop. Most nights have a variety of returning times and since we have pets, it’s all the basics of walking animals, feeding the masses, handling the house cleaning task for the day, maintaining laundry for various sports and school needs, and prepping communications or material for the next day.

What does your family like to do together for fun/weekends? Sports, activities, work, pets, and volunteering dominate our days. Occasionally, we will have a chance to sign out a boat and head to a quiet part of Keewaydin Island or a family favorite of volunteering at the Humane Society of Naples. Good therapy.

Typical date night for you and your husband? What’s that? Occasionally, we will look at a clock and see if any local restaurant is still serving at 10 p.m. when the kids are doing homework or watching a movie. I guess we really need to work on that.

Best and worst part about having teenagers? Best – seeing them as 6-foot-tall humans is still a bit shocking. I am happiest when they show rare moments of affection. Worst – ugh, they are teenagers. Attitude, know-it-alls, independence but with the need for stuff “right now” – and with opinions, boy do they have opinions!

Your proudest personal accomplishment: Aside from my family and our efforts to be responsible people, I think it would be the longstanding friendships that we have. I am proud of my service to country, and my unique career past.

Biggest regret? Professionally, not extending my commission in the Armed Forces beyond my 12 years and not finishing my master’s degree in education so that I could formally teach. Personally, not asking my grandfather for another dance at my wedding (he passed away shortly after) or reconciling a bumpy relationship with my father before he died.

What are your family’s New Year’s resolutions? We don’t make resolutions; rather, we have a “Five Year Plan.” With the kids in high school, I am setting a timeline to finish the memory quilts and photo albums, and enjoying the youthful times with them while I can.

The post MOMentum Moms: Cindy Dreyfuss appeared first on SWFL Family.