No matter how much preparation you do, the unexpected can happen. Due to a variety of reasons, you could find yourself in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) sitting by your newborn baby.

When I found out I was expecting triplets, I was told it was highly likely they would spend time in the NICU due to premature birth. I had absolutely no idea how to prepare; the information was overwhelming and the uncertainty was frightening. I have found the true experts are parents who have been through the experience. The information they share gives you a glimpse into what you can really expect during the NICU experience. Here are some of the most valuable tips.

1.Get involved. When you visit your child in the NICU for the first time it can be very intimidating. Your baby will be covered with wires and may look tiny and fragile. It is normal to feel nervous about caring for your child. Ask the NICU nurses how you can get involved in your child’s care. They usually are more than willing to teach you how to work around their medical equipment. “Once I began tak-ing my son’s temps, changing diapers, and assisting with bathing, I felt so much more comfortable and less intimidated by the experience,” said mom Rachel Watts.

2. Babies progress at their own pace. “Don’t put a timeframe on how long you expect them to be there,” said Nikki Rhyme, mother of triplets born last year. The rule of thumb is that babies born prematurely typically will go home around their due date; however, this is not always the case. Jessica Craine, mom of twins, noted: “Anytime I was frustrated, I had to sit back and realize that my boys have learned to breathe, suck, and swallow, all before most kids are born.”

3. Take care of yourself. When your child is in the NICU it is easy to be focused on their health above all else. Amidst all the struggles we must not forget Mom just gave birth, often by emergency Cesarean-section and some-times after weeks of bedrest. Take care of yourself during this time. Eat healthy meals, drink water, take breaks, spend time with your significant other and old-er children, and ask for help. “Tell your friends and family you’re struggling and you need support,” said Rachel Watts. Many times they want to help but won’t know what to do unless you ask. Give them specific tasks that will make your life easier, like preparing a meal for your family or doing a load of laundry.

4. Document this special time. The NICU is a stressful place, which makes it easy to forget to document your baby’s milestones. “Record the true day of their first bath, when they wore clothes the first time, when they moved from an incubator to a crib … these are memo-ries I will cherish forever,” said Jessica Craine. “I wish I had more photos of this time,” added Alex Tichet, mother of triplets. Although it is hard to see your tiny baby fighting in the NICU, many parents cherish those photos because they are proof of how far their amazing and strong child has come.

5. Be your child’s advocate. “Remember they are your babies, and you have a voice in how things go. Don’t be afraid to ask questions,” advised triplet mom Michelle Glasser. The doc-tors and nurses work hard to give your child the best possible care but the parent plays a big part in the care their child will receive. “Try to be present during rounds to get updates on the baby’s status and care,” advised mom Courtney Harreld.

6. Some of the things you see will be heartbreaking. “I wasn’t prepared for some of the things we saw and neither was my husband. We could see the doctors working on babies to save their lives. Incredibly heartbreaking,” explained Jenna Mrnak, mother of triplets. It will be difficult to witness some of the things that go on in the NICU as babies struggle to grow and thrive. It is best to take comfort in the knowledge that miracles do happen there.

7. It will end. “A great piece of advice I got from my best friend who had also had a NICU baby was to picture yourself and your baby a couple seasons in the future when you are doing something totally normal,” said Eve Bernfeld, mother of three. “This helped to remind me that things would be normal … someday.” Each day in the NICU seems like an eternity, but when your child comes home and the years go by, that time becomes a distant memory. “It seems like it is a never-ending experi-ence regardless of if it’s five days or five months, but it will be a thing of the past before you know it,” said Jennifer Pena.Our NICU experience was one of the most difficult seasons my family has walked through. Even so, I find myself looking back on it fondly because I am more aware of how miraculous life is. It is a stressful place to be, but the NICU staff is there to do everything possible to get your baby well and home with your family.

SARAH LYONS is a proud mother of six who writes from her home in a suburb of Kansas City. The inspiration for this article comes from her experience in the NICU after the birth of her 18-month-old triplets.

The post Seven Priceless Tips for NICU Parents appeared first on SWFL Family.

Parenthood is hard. There is always something to be done, someone who needs assistance, and multiple things to worry about. The list is endless but may include everything from feeding your kids healthy foods, to your child’s friendships, to what others think about your choices. Some worries are valid, but many are not worth the time and effort. What if we could learn to let them go?

Personal expectations

Before I became a parent, I had high expectations for myself as a mother. I had things I wanted to do and things I declared I would never do. After my first child was born, I quickly realized that I would change my perspective on most pre-child declarations. “Let go of the idea that you will be the perfect parent because it won’t happen,” said twin mother Aly Ridgeley. When

parents accept that they are doing the best they can, at that moment, for their kids, they will be able to cross this worry off their list.

Guilt

Do you worry that you don’t spend enough time with your child? Do you feel guilty you were not able to breastfeed your child or that you missed a soccer game? Do you feel bad you forgot to remind your son to grab his lunch on the way out the door? The guilt of these things and more can weigh heavily on a parent but you have permission to let it go. It is okay if you miss a game or a school party. We all have to make choices and sometimes those choices cause unnecessary guilt. Once a decision is made, move forward and let go of the feelings of guilt. They will only rob you of enjoying the present.

Outward appearances

A tidy house, a perfectly decorated home, an amazing wardrobe, all organic, home-cooked meals, the perfect marriage, smart, athletic, creative children, and a partridge in a pear tree. We want

it all and we want it to be perfect, or at least appear that way. This picture is lovely but it is not a realistic, reachable goal. It is easy to get caught up in what our families looks like to others. It does not matter if your children wear perfectly coordinating outfits. Is your child is dressed in weather appropriate clothing? Great. Does it match? It’s your lucky day. Social media puts so much pressure on us to keep up with what we believe others are doing. I have a secret for you; Pinterest is not real life and what is posted on Facebook is typically the best of what is going on in reality. Embrace the fact that no one is perfect and nobody’s expecting you to be.

What if?

Parents often worry about things that haven’t even hap- pened yet. What if he gets sick? What if she falls and gets hurt? What if I forget something important? What if he doesn’t make the team? “What ifs” are not worth the energy they use. Ac- knowledge they are unnecessary and decide not to waste time on them. Face the problems in front of you rather than worrying about issues that do not exist.

Comparisons

“Don’t compare yourself to other parents. Your family is unique. Your circumstances are unique. It would be like com- paring apples and oranges,” said mom Lacey Rodriguez. “Do the best you can for your family and forget the rest.” Comparing yourself to other parents is never a good idea. Your parenting style for your children will always be different from others, but this doesn’t mean it is bad. Another pitfall is comparing your children to their siblings or other children their age. Each child has their own unique personality and will develop at their own rate. If you feel your concerns are valid, consult your child’s doc- tor for peace of mind.

Mistakes

Every parent makes mistakes and it is easy to spend time worrying about what should have been done differently. The past cannot be changed and although not easy to do, we must let go of things we cannot change. We can learn from our mistakes and continue to do our best in the future. Parents have permission to let go of past mistakes and teach their children to do the same.

Control

I am a recovering control freak. With each child we added to our family, I was worn down a little more. When our triplets arrived, it finally dawned on me that I am not in control. Once I realized (and accepted) this fact, a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Yes, my husband and I are still in charge of the household, but I cannot control what happens in life. It’s a roller coaster; instead of trying to steer, throw your arms up in the air and enjoy the ride.

Learning to let go of these worries usually leads to feelings of relief. When remember that each family is unique and each parent handles situations differently, it is easier to relax and enjoy your family more.

SARAH LYONS, mother of six, has learned to let go of many things over the years to maintain a happy and functioning household.

The post Let it go: Seven Things to Stop Worrying About appeared first on SWFL Family.

I have declared this summer to be different. My kids will have the kind of summer I had as a child. One that is less scheduled and more free play, less video games and more outside time, and less parent-planned and more child-created. If, like me, you are tired of feeling pressure to entertain and educate your child every waking moment, use these tips to enjoy your summer, 1970s style.

Ditch the excess

Today parents often feel the need to sign their kids up for as many camps, clinics, and activities as possible to fill their days. In the 70s, kids did not spend their days at baseball camp, they played baseball with the neighbor kids in the backyard. They didn’t attend theater and dance camps but instead made up their own show to perform for parents and siblings. Give your kids the gift of free time to play and try things on their own. If kids are away at camps all summer, they won’t have time to create their own adventures.

Unplug

Today we love our electronics. It is unlikely that many of us can make it more than a few hours without checking in with social media and responding to emails and texts. Our kids are no different, but limits should be set on screen time to allow kids to experience outdoor play, the joy of curling up with a good book, and allowed time to use their own imaginations. 1970s kids didn’t have apps, educational or not, to entertain them and fill their days. Instead, they used their imagination to create inventions with recycled trash, build forts with whatever they could find, and cooperate with other kids to create games that could last for hours.

Go outside

“Go outside and come back when it’s dinner time.” is what my parents would say nearly every afternoon when I was growing up. There were no scheduled playdates, meet ups at the park, or specific activities planned. If I wanted to go to the park, I would ride my bike or walk there. If I wanted a friend to come along, I would swing by their house on the way and knock on the door to see if they wanted to join me. My parents had only a vague idea where I was or who I was with and this was the norm. While many parents don’t feel quite as safe giving their child free rein, we can learn from this attitude. Kids do not need us to plan and intervene in their daily activities. Send them outside, have them go knock on a neighbor’s door, and ask them to join them. Play in the sprinkler, ride bikes, draw with chalk, drink from the hose, learn to do cartwheels, jump rope, plant flowers, or simply sit in the sun. Go outside and don’t come home until dinner.

Let it go

Parents today have so much pressure to live up to unrealistic standards. We feel we must provide educational crafts and well balanced extracurricular activities and plan interesting and affordable outings, all while simultaneously cooking healthy, organic food, maintaining a clean house and a healthy marriage, and balancing our careers. The truth is, none of us are able to keep up with it all. The 1970s parent, while balancing many of the career and family obligations we have today, did not put the type of pressure parents today place on themselves. This summer, take a break from the pressures of social media, enjoy your kids, join them outside, play a board game, have a movie night, lounge at the pool, eat a little (or a lot of) junk food, and give yourself permission to let things go and accept you can’t realistically keep up with everything anyway. The key to giving your kids, and yourself, a 1970s summer is to unplug, enjoy, and ease up on the pressures we place on ourselves. Let’s just enjoy our kids and every unscheduled moment because, before you know it, it will be time to head back to school.

The post How to Give Your Kids a 1970s Summer appeared first on SWFL Family.

Trimming your baby budget

Diapers. To save on diapers, consider switching to cloth. Modern cloth diapers are easy to use and come in cute designs. The initial cost is typically $10-$20 per diaper, but they can be reused for years. If cloth diapers aren’t for your family, there are still ways to save money on disposable diapers. Check manufacturer websites for high dollar coupons and combine with store sales. Generic diapers are another great way to save and they typically are comparable to name brand.

Formula. Breastfeeding is not always an option for families for a variety of reasons and formula is pricey. Coupons and rebates are readily available from the manufacturer. Go to the manufacturer’s website and sign up for additional coupons and have friends and family do the same. You can also ask your obstetrician and pediatrician for free formula samples.

Baby gear. Car seat, stroller, high chair, bouncer, swing, and more. There sure is a lot of gear for someone so small and it seems each item costs $100, often more. It’s wise to buy a new car seat that meets current safety standards but all the other items can be purchased gently used and later sold again when your family no longer needs them.

Baby clothes. Babies grow fast, so it doesn’t make sense to spend a lot on several cute baby outfits when your child outgrows them only a few weeks later. Consider buying gently used clothing and/or asking friends for hand me downs. If you want new items, buy less than you think you will need because they are used for only a short time.

Child care. To save money on child care, you have to get creative. Ideas include having a family or friend watch the baby at a lower rate, trading babysitting with another family, or alternating shifts with your partner to reduce time in child care. Some companies offer flexible spending plans to pay for child care with pre-tax money.

Trimming other areas

Wardrobe. The key to saving money on adult clothing is to shop for versatile pieces that can be worn many different ways. A solid color top can be worn with jeans, slacks, or a skirt and paired with a scarf, necklace, or jacket, or worn alone for a variety of looks. Once you have your key pieces, only buy clothing when you really need it.

Food. There are several ways to cut costs in this area. Purchasing groceries with coupons, on sale, or generic brands can save money. Also, consider making items from scratch and eating out less to help trim your food budget. A quick Google search will provide you with several $5 meals ideas.

Entertainment. Just because a new baby is in the house doesn’t mean that you have to stop enjoying entertainment, but you might need to approach a night out in a new way. You do not have to go without movies, concerts, or area attractions, but you should check deal sites to see if there are any options available to you. This will require planning ahead to make sure it fits into the budget and that you have child care covered, if necessary. Also consider if items like cable or streaming subscriptions are necessary. Choose to pay for the entertainment you use and enjoy.

Reduce. Our homes are filled with items we rarely use. Consider selling these items to put extra cash in your hand that can be used for all those new baby expenses. Have a garage sale, utilize consignment sales, or sell items in online marketplaces.

Trim expenses. Look at the family budget and evaluate where you can easily trim expenses. Do you belong to a gym, have club memberships, subscriptions, or other monthly bills that you do not use enough to justify the expense? Discuss with your partner whether some of these items can be cut to free up the money for other expenses.

DIY. A simple way to save money is to do things yourself. Cleaning and lawn services are nice but expensive. Taking care of it yourself is free. Try it yourself first and save the money you would have spent on labor.

Bringing home a new baby is an adjustment in many ways and financial priorities may have shifted in your family. In time, you will adjust to your new lifestyle and budget and you will feel comfortable with budgeting after baby.

SARAH LYONS is a stay-at-home mom of six children, including two-year-old triplets. She has learned to cut costs and save money in a variety of ways over the years as they added to their family.

The post Budgeting After Baby appeared first on SWFL Family.

Keep your focus

There are many reasons a mom will be put on bed rest, but most often, it is because of the risk of pre-term labor. Focus on the goal, which is allowing baby to grow as long as possible. Reminding yourself of this will help keep you going each day.

Keep a record

Many moms find that writing in a journal or starting a blog is therapeutic. Record your thoughts and feelings about pregnancy, as well as what is going on that day. Take pictures to document the pregnancy. After the birth, you will have a record to look back on.

Keep entertained

Many hospitals are equipped with free wi-fi for patients to use. This comes in extra handy while on bed rest. Catch up on your TV shows, read books or magazines, watch movies, do some Internet shopping, play games on your phone or tablet, scroll through Facebook or Pinterest, and research the best car seat for baby. Utilize any form of entertainment to pass the time.

Keep resting

The adage: “Enjoy sleeping now because when baby comes you will wish you could sleep more.” is very hard for most moms to hear when they are forced into bed rest. However, it is a common saying because it is true. Rest is best for baby and mom. Try to make the most of it while you can.

Keep comfortable

Create a comfortable space wherever you are resting. At home, keep snacks, water, books, and other items close at hand so you don’t have to be up and about during the day. Bring comforts from home to the hospital. Items like blankets and pillows, pictures of family, and any favorites that make you feel more comfortable will ease the time you spend at the hospital.

Keep busy

This is the time to catch up on the things you never have time to do. Try beauty maintenance such as painting your fingernails or plucking your eyebrows. Teach yourself a new skill like knitting or crocheting using free tutorial videos online. Finish the thank you cards from your baby shower. Anything to pass the time.

Keep a routine

Wake up at approximately the same time daily, shower, get dressed, eat meals at the same times, and do basically the same activities each day. Keeping a simple daily routine will help time pass and help create a sense of normalcy. If you are working, get a laptop and keep up with your work from your home or the hospital bed.

Keep a positive perspective

It is hard not to get down when you see the same four walls day in and day out, sometimes for weeks on end. Keep telling yourself “You can do it!”. Take each day as it comes and keep pushing yourself toward your goal. Remind yourself this is temporary and will be worth it in the end. Someday this will all be a distant memory.

Keep a support system

A strong support system is key to surviving bed rest. Encourage friends and family to visit as much as possible. Having people around to talk to does wonders to raise spirits for a mom on bed rest. If family and friends offer to help by bringing meals, caring for older children, or doing housework, accept the help.

The main thing to remember while on bed rest is that it will end. Each day the baby stays in utero is less time baby will spend in the NICU. Take one day at a time and try to remain positive. Soon enough, you will be holding your baby in your arms.

How to Survive Hospital Bed Rest

Hospital bed rest is a totally different experience than resting at home. The four walls of a hospital room can feel like a prison after looking at them for days and weeks on end. Here are some ways to survive hospital bed rest.

Sleep. Often, it’s hard to get a good night’s sleep in the hospital. Taking naps throughout the day is healthy for mom and baby and passes the time.

Accept visitors. If someone offers to visit, accept their offer. It’s always nice to have someone new to talk to.

Comforts. Bring as many comforts from home as you can. Having a favorite pillow or photos of loved ones can do a lot to encourage you.

Go for a ride. Ask if you are allowed to go for a ride in a wheelchair. A change of scenery, even for a few minutes, can make a big difference.

Throw a party. Ask friends or family to bring dinner to you. Watch a movie together or just chat. Make it a weekly event so you have something to look forward to.

One day at a time. It’s easy to get overwhelmed when the days are long and boring. Try to take one day at a time and remain positive. Each day that passes is allowing baby to grow bigger and stronger.

SARAH LYONS survived five weeks on bed rest prior to the birth of her triplets in 2014.

The post Surviving Bed Rest appeared first on SWFL Family.