Amy: Well, we've done it. The books have officially closed on 2016, and we are running into 2017 with a smile on our face, a myriad of crushed granola bars and goldfish crackers on the minivan floor and hopefully, a nice glass of wine at the end of the day for our effort. May you and your family have a year filled with health and happiness. This month our issues are all about "age appropriate situations." Let's answer some questions.
Q: How do I handle a pre-k child practicing "colorful" language he's learned from school?
A: The toddler phase is hard for parents for a multitude of reasons. The top two being that your baby has just become a little person, seemingly overnight and that your baby realizes they've become a little person, seemingly overnight. Most toddlers are learning many of their vocabulary words by mimic and repetition, and whether mommy is the person who drops the occasional expletive, or an older sibling, or a newfound pre-school friend, toddlers are gonna toddler. Their whole job is about pushing your buttons and their boundaries. And a huge part of that sees how far they can go before you lose your mind. If your toddler is using inappropriate words at home, do your best not to laugh (I know it's sometimes impossible, especially when they use it in the proper context) but maintain that poker face, and then tell them that those words aren't nice to say. If you don't make a big deal out of it, they won't treat it like a big deal. THE BIG DEAL IS THEIR ULTIMATE GOAL. Stay strong, hold your line, and hopefully, you won't hear that word again until they're 13 and they mumble it under their breath as you leave the room.
Q: At what age do you stop taking kids of the opposite sex in the bathroom with you? Is it different for changing rooms?
A: For me, I gauge my answer to questions like this based on two different criteria: the age of the child and the risk of the situation. For example, if I went to the mall with all three of my sons tomorrow and needed to use the bathroom; I would let my 11-year-old son wait outside the ladies room entrance by himself, I would allow my 6-year-old son to wait near the sinks until I was done in the stall, and would take my 2-year-old with me. This is an area we are familiar with, and my oldest child has a phone of his own. As for changing rooms, I usually have the younger children with me while the oldest has other scheduled activities. This is a typical situation as my kids have seen me in a bikini, which is the same as my underwear and bra. We don't make a big deal about nudity or the human form in my home, but I try to dissuade the kids from running around naked and attempting to play soccer because, boundaries.
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Amy Hunter grew up in the suburbs of Long Island singing Barbara Streisand hits into her hairbrush. When she’s not writing her hilarity fueled parenting memoir as The Outnumbered Mother, she’s a Naples Florida living, butt wiping, soccer team carting, gourmet chef attempting, tennis skirt wearing, non-tennis playing, self-proclaimed bad mamma jamma to three sons and a very understanding husband. You can find Amy online at the Theoutnumberedmother.com.