girl in princess costume with mother
Halloween is fast approaching and every year it seems to start earlier. I actually saw Halloween stuff out in early September and my girls have already asked me a few times already to go purchase costumes. What? Aren’t we still supposed to be hanging on to those last rays of summer?
To talk about trick-or-treating for moms would be silly. We all know that is a kid’s activity. But for moms tricks can come in the most surprising ways...and not just on Halloween. Tricks, in the coaching world, are better known as resistance or excuses, which come in many forms. The bottom line is that resistance is that little monster in your head that keeps making excuses preventing you from taking action to getting the things you say you want.
So this October I want to take another look at trick-or-treating. Here are a few tricks we play on ourselves, and some treats we can exchange them for every day of the year.
Trick #1: I don’t have time.
This is the biggest trick in the book! Count how many times a day you say that and look at what it is preventing you from doing. We are all busy. In fact, I don’t know one mom who is NOT busy, but we choose how we spend our time, and we spend it either unconsciously by racing around from task to task, or we spend it purposefully doing the things that mean something to us. How are you spending your time? Are you making time for the things you WANT to do like exercise, getting together with friends, or reading a book you’ve wanted to read? Treat yourself to the idea that you are doing with your time what you have chosen to do with it. The great news is that you can choose differently if you decide you want to carve out more time for you.
Trick #2: I don’t have the money.
How many of us make excuses to not do something because we ‘don’t have the money’? It can be a back pocket excuse for just about everything. But the reality is we spend money on what has value to us. We wouldn’t cut out buying our kids an extra pair of gym shoes, but why would we cut out a babysitter or a hair color so quickly? When we start focusing a little more on self-care we have to give ourselves permission to spend money on things that will improve us, make us more relaxed, solve our problems or increase our personal happiness. I am not suggesting that you blow money on things that aren’t of value to you, but don’t allow things you do for yourself be the first thing in the budget to get cut. Treat yourself to the idea that you are worth spending money on the things that will benefit you. If you feel it is reasonable, then go ahead and do it. Look for ways to treat yourself regularly.
Trick #3: That could never work for me.
Because of the fear of change this can be a sneaky trick to watch out for. It will jump out at you when you least expect it. A friend may invite you to a support group she’s been attending because she sees you struggling with the same issues she has, and you might be quick to say, “Oh I’m not a group type of person.” Or if you want to lose weight you might hear the suggestion to walk 30 minutes a day and you quickly say, “Oh, walking never works for me.” But the question to ask yourself is, “Have I really tried it before or am I just making excuses?” Most people who make a committed effort to walk 30 minutes a day see drastic improvements in their overall health. Most people who join a support group do find relief in sharing their struggles with others. So treat yourself to the thought that often the most unlikely thing works when you stop pre-judging it before trying it.
So this October don’t allow these tricks to stop you from being the best mom you can be. Start to treat yourself to the idea that if there is something you say you want and seems right to you, you can find the time for it, you can find the money for it and you can be sure that if your gut feeling is on board it will work for you. Here’s to you creating the life you want without allowing the tricks to spoil your treats.
As a Certified Life Coach, speaker and author, April O’Leary helps women bring peace into their busy lives. April and her husband Jim reside in Estero with their three girls. For more on April, visit www.apriloleary.com.